Toronto Reviews – Page 5 – Fare..Eat..Ales

Looking for Gizmo at Porh Pawh’s Bakery and Cafe

August 29, 2015September 4, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

Once in a while I pass a place and just feel the need to drop in out of nothing more than curiosity. After breakfast, I was walking down Adelaide and saw Porh Pawh’s etched on a window covered with frosted glass. The name could suggest a spa or even a “spa”. It might also be a good name for a dog groomer (bring your dog’s Porh Pawh’s to us and we will make them feel better). The only real indication that something is inside is a small sandwich board on the sidewalk. What’s more confusing is when you look at the entrance there are pictures of retail listings listed beside the front door leading one to believe they may be buying a duplex as opposed to a salad.

I ventured inside. It looks very regular, like any building entrance, until you get around the corner. At this point you see a small. modest counter. Suddenly a small Chinese woman appears with a cloth around her head as she bustles around the kitchen preparing lunch. It reminded me of the scene from Gremlins when Billy’s father walks into the shop to find a unique gift and eventually leaves with a Mogwai.

The woman quickly came to the counter as I was staring at the menu which consisted of standard breakfast and lunch items mixed with Asian influenced salads. In front of me were baked goods in containers that looked like they were about to be carted off to a school bake sale. Since I just ate I was more interested in grabbing something for the road as opposed to a full lunch. I asked about the bake sale containers and I was told they were shortbread cookies, date squares and rice krispy treats. Further explanation informed me that her main intention is to try and make these goods as healthy and possible and I got a very detailed explanation of each. For example, the addition of oats and milled flax seed to the shortbread adds fibre and counters the absorption of the butter while the hidden chocolate centre enhances the flavour without the need for additional fat and sugar. In addition, the marshmallow component of the rice krispy square is minimized and replaced with cranberries and sesame seeds as healthier and alternate flavours.

Date Square $2.75 and Shortbread Cookie $1.85

I was compelled and ordered all three as well as a coffee which was fair trade, organic and made with the rarely used Aeropress method and served with a biodegradable lid and cup. It was a decent cup of coffee although it can’t replace a good, more traditional Amerciano. As I waited another patron came in and she greeted him by name and asked if he had a minute to talk after she was done. He grabbed a date square and said sure. I love shit like this and only imagined the conversation that would ensue.

As for the baked goods, I was honestly shocked. I’m not suggesting for a second that this is health food but it is certainly better than anything Starbucks will ever offer. It was unique and much fresher than the mass produced Starbucks garbage. The combinations of flavours in all three were almost bang on to their less wholesome alternatives. The sesame in the rice krispy square was brilliant as was the chocolate in the shortbread and the walnuts in the date square. She also gave me a sample of a gluten free muffin she was “testing”. She makes batches, freezes them and then periodically tastes them to assess their integrity over time. I think it was lemon poppyseed and was tasty although it still had that obviously gluten-free texture.

My Take

I love a good coffee shop/cafe and Toronto has no shortage of them. They are, however, usually overrun by hipsters and serve the same old cookies and squares as everywhere else. Stumbling into the almost hidden Porh Pawh’s was like walking into Mr. Wing’s mysterious shop in Gremlins. The soup was boiling, the goods were displayed and conversation was a bit like a high school chemistry class. The experience and the goods were as magical as Gizmo himself so I made a note to come back for lunch sometime soon and reminded myself that it might not be a good idea to get anything wet or eat the date squares after midnight.

Meni Midi Meh

July 18, 2015July 18, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

I had a business lunch in the Mount Sinai hospital area, so I needed a place close by. I have walked past Midi back numerous times and figured it would a good time to give it a try. I showed up from my reservation and was handed the $18 summerlicious menu which offered the standard starter, entree and dessert. It was the only menu available but I wasn’t super upset since most of the regular items (most of which were French inspired) were also featured.

It has a small interior that is quite modest and rather worn down. It doesn’t hold a whole lot of people and it was manned by one waiter who also seemed to be responsible for ordering the restaurant’s food supply as well.

I started with the soup of the day which was split pea. It was a decent consistency but was rather starchy and slightly underseasoned. The fish special was a seared tuna served with a mango salsa and frites. The tuna was cooked rare as requested but was horribly underseasoned. The salsa was a mess…overly sweet with no contrast whatsoever. The fries were marginally warm. Dessert was a vanilla cardamon creme brulee which I was pretty excited about given my love for that spice in a dessert. The flavour was there but the consistency of the creme brulee was a little clumpy.

My Take

Lunch at Midi was like a trip back in time. The worn, unwelcoming decor matched the equally outdated food. All three components of the $18 summerlicious menu were mediocre at best. In stark contrast to Caesar’s triumphant Veni, Vidi, Vici war cry, foodies flocking here would likely wimper Meni, Midi, Meh.

King Street 2.0: Barhop

June 21, 2015June 21, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

I’ve realized that I have done a number of second visits to restaurants along King street so far this year. Since it has been some time since I’ve been to or reviewed these places, I figured it would be prudent to update my experiences. Let’s start with Barhop.

Both the staff and many of the patrons at Barhop are what I refer to as “hopsters”. Hopsters fall under the same genus as hipsters but they differ in order in that their angst is geared toward those who don’t appreciate the fine art of brewing. My first experience with hopsters was almost 20 years ago at C’est What?, a brewpub on Front Street. I remember watching people come in and order a Canadian or a Blue only to be scoffed at by the staff followed by a stern lecture pointing out that you can’t order a macrobrew here. At the time, I thought it was quiet humourous and chuckled under my breath at the unsuspecting fools.

Barhop has carried on the hopster tradition but has adapted it to 2015. Even with a decent knowledge of beer, there is no guarantee you will receive prompt and/or courteous service. I dropped in one night only to sit there for 10 minutes without so much as an acknowledgment so I left. I returned a second time and it was equally as busy but this time I got a rail seat and at least an offer of a drink. It goes without saying that the beer selection is amazing. Most of the draft choices are local brews including side launch, KLB, Amsterdam, Indie Ale House, Sawdust city etc. They also have a few of their own branded pints including a very good nitro ESB. They also have rare brews, table bottles and all sorts of other delights.

From a food perspective, the menu is exactly what you would expect; bar food with a gastropub twist. I only had a few snacks since I was grabbing dinner later. These pictures are brutal but I wanted to minimize the use of the flash so as not to disturb the hopsters as they began their nocturnal ritual. The olives and marinated cheese ($13) were served with grilled bread. I thought the cheese was a clever dish and a bit of a deviation from the normal cheese plates served in the area. The homemade jerky ($9) was served with a bourbon bacon jam. I must say this the first time I’ve ever eaten jerky with jam. I won’t say there was synergy in the combined flavours but I think the jam made the jerky, which was quite dry (as is meant to be) a little easier to chew. The fried pickles served with ranch ($9) hit the mark and were comparable to other places from both a taste and price perspective.

Dill Breaded Pickles with Buttermilk Ranch $9

My Take

The original microbrew movement was somewhat quashed by the realization of international conglomerates that microbrews posed a threat to their bottom line. This resulted in the purchase and/or suppression of many a fine beer. Creemore, for example, was purchased by Molson (who is owned by Coors’) in 2005 and to this day has been disguised as a microbrewery. Both Alexander Keith’s and Rickard’s stay at arms length from their owners (Anheuser-Busch and Molson Coors Brewing respectively) and promote family values, tradition and other moral lessons.

Luckily, this decade has seen a return to the art of authentic craft brewing. Barhop was one of the first restaurants to jump on the resurgence of the true microbrewery movement in Ontario. With it comes the hopster attitude and a menu which tries to match the needs of their beer swilling patrons. It’s crowded, they don’t take reservations and the service can be inconsistent but if you want a good pint in the entertainment district, this is your best bet….just don’t order a bud.

Pai, Pai, Toronto’s Northern Thai…I ordered Farang Spicy Heat and I Didn’t Cry

May 24, 2015August 14, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

A short, short time ago
I can still remember how good thai used to make me smile
And I knew if I gave pai a chance
That I could make my tastebuds dance
And maybe I’d be happy for a while

The waitstaff made me shiver
With every dish that they’d deliver
After all the food they schlepped
I couldn’t take one more step

I sure remember all I tried
Whether it was a main or a side,
It seemed the yelp ratings didn’t lie
The day I went to Pai.

Pai, Pai, Toronto’s Northern Thai
Drove my Jetta to find parking but the rates were so high
And them good ole boys were serving two beers that were Thai
The pogues sung Singha beer don’t tell no lies,
That Singha beer don’t tell no lies.

Let me tell you what I did love
The level of spice mentioned above
And the menu told me so!
Now do you believe in good spring rolls?
With a dipping sauce served in a small bowl.
And with a heat that tends to kick in real slow?

Well, I know I’m in love with Tom Yum
Specially when it makes your tongue numb.
The flavours really fused
Man, I dig those good soups and stews

There’s a green curry filled with lots of stuff,
And it’s cleverly served in a coconut
All for the price of 16 bucks
The signature dish of Pai

Now for eighteen bucks you can own
A shrimp platter that I can’t condone.
The caesar’s not how I thought i’d be
It was mucky as opposed to light and clean
And the shrimp was rather plain cuisine
although others may disagree

And while the Caesar was going down
I ordered Thai’s culinary crown
It was pad thai I yearned
a good verdict was returned

With flavours complex instead of stark
The sausage really hit the mark
With sauce that deserves good remarks
The day I went to Pai

Sai Ua Platter (think I missed the actual sausages) $14

My Take

For the most part authentic Thai food in Toronto has been served in places decorated with elephants and Buddha statues but Pai has introduced the concept of serving this popular fare in a Duncan street rabbit hole designed for basement dwelling hipsters. It is small, crowded and hectic. The service was efficient but a little scattered and inconsistent at times. They do take bookenda reservations, however, so planning ahead ultimately avoids a lot of headaches. The food lives up to the hype by offering authentic recognizable dishes such as pad thai, tom yum soup and spring rolls as well as other favourites such as green curry and Thai sausage. The rolls (with the kicking dipping sauce), soup and noodles deserve honorable mention but the curry, in particular, was among one of the best I have had. Maybe it was the cute coconut as a vessel but the consummate flavours and tender beef made it the premier dish of the evening. The accompanying sauces such as the Thai relish served with the sausage were delicious. The Thai caesar platter, although an interesting and exciting concept, was disappointing mainly due to the lackluster Caeser mix and boring shrimp sauce. I loved the option of farang (foreigner) spicy which added a great bite while respecting the other flavours such as kaffir lime leaf and lemongrass. Price wise, it’s definitely more expensive than Salad King or most hole in the walls but very much in line with other hipster destinations offering noise and chaos as menu options.

They were serving Thai, Thai, at Toronto’s Pai

I liked the food and bevies and my standards were high
Them good ole rolls and curries were worth the buy
So I’d suggest that you give this place a try.

Bareburger: A Haven for Hipbillys and Hippysters Alike

May 18, 2015May 18, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

There was a degree of fanfare with the opening of Bareburger, the small New York based chain which offers organic and healthier options to the slew of greasy options which fill the streets of every town and city in North America. One of those cities is now Toronto, more specifically the intersection of Bay and Dundas.

The theme is hipster meets hippy meets hillbilly. The hipster is the fact that there are usually line-ups at mealtimes and the staff is a mix of lumbersexuals, plastic spectacle wearing stylists and guys with man buns as big as those on the burgers. The hippy is the zen focus on clean eating such as vegetarian and vegan burgers, organic pasture-raised, no hormone meats, non-GMO/pesticide free produce and fair trade purchasing practices to appease the moral consciousness of the anti-capitalists. The hillbilly comes from unique meat choices including duck, wild boar, bison and elk along with the use of recycled barns and wood for the roof and floor respectively no to mention the bear heads (although not real) hanging on the wall.

The drink list offers a select list of microbrews, wines and spirits but what be more unique are the non-alcoholic drinks such as homemade unsweetened ice teas and 10 different sodas including a traditional cola and not so traditional blueberry . I was on the clock so I opted for the white peach ice tea ($3.25) served a glass which looked like a billboard for clean eating. It was quite refreshing.

I started with a jar of spicy pickles which is supposedly a 100 year old family recipe. They had great spice and flavour and were served in the quintessential hillbilly/hispter glassware…the mason jar.

The burgers are the main event but Bareburgers offers other sandwiches and salads as well. You have the choice of building your own or trusting the chefs who have devised 14 different choices using a variety of meat, buns and toppings. I opted for the blue elk ($13.65) which was elk topped with elk, amish blue, back bacon, stout onions and tomato fig jam all served on a sprout bun. The meat was cooked perfectly but the taste was hidden a little by the intense flavour of the jam and the bun. All in all, it was a good burger and clearly unique from most of the others in the area and despite the richness of some of the ingredients, didn’t leave that gross feeling in my stomach despite the side of fries and onion rings ($5.70) which I split with my table mate who also ordered the buttermilk buffalo ($10.90). It was buffalo fried chicken, amish blue, buttermilk ranch, green leaf and a brioche bun. I snuck a piece and was thoroughly impressed.The sauce was not your typical frank’s red. It was much deeper in flavour. The chicken itself was moist and delicious and complemented well with the cheese and sauce. The fries were quite good and the rings were among some of the best I’ve had; crispy and well seasoned versus greasy and salty. Special mention goes to the Sir Kensington’s ketchup available at the table which was much fresher than the Heinz which typically graces the tables of every other burger joint in town.

Blue Elk Burger ($13.85) and Spicy Pickles ($3.85) — Blue Elk Burger ($13.65) and Spicy Pickles ($3.85)

Buttermilk Buffalo ($10.90) and Side Fries/Rings ($5.70)

My Take

What do you call a hillybilly, hipster and hippy all in one? A hillster? Hipbilly? Hiphilly? Hippyster? Regardless, Bareburger would make any combination of the three feel at home. The rustic decor, organic meat choices and man buns would appeal to all of their desires at the same time. I’m not sure if it is the best burger I’ve ever had but it is certainly one of the more unique. The meat was cooked beautifully and the toppings, although a bit overwhelming resulted in one of the more unique burgers I’ve had, probably because it relied on fresh ingredients instead of grease and salt as the primary means of flavour. The chicken sandwich was a step above many (I’d put that shit on everything), especially those which usually play second fiddle in a typical burger joint. The fries held their own (especially with Sir Kensington’s help) and the rings were divine. When all is said and done a burger, fries and drink will run you $20 which can buy you a whole lotta karma, a cocktail at a hipster haven or an official duck commander quack pack duck call so I’ll let you decide.

R&D: Rebel and Demon, Research and Development, Rad and Deficient

May 3, 2015May 10, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

In a previous blog, I outlined my Masterchef tryout in some detail. Despite my failure to impress the producers, I watched the show and was happy to see Eric Chong win. I was equally happy to see something tangible come from his win; a new restaurant in the perilous region of Chinatown. R&D is a partnership with the mercurial Alvin Leung, who’s blue hair makes old ladies and smurfs alike quite envious. The restaurant’s concept is one of polarity and contrast. Our bubbly waitress promised flavours which ran the gamut of tastes and flavours with every bite. The name R and D refers to the Rebel and Demon personas of the owners and is a play on the fact they were both engineers before finding their true vocation. Adding to the polarity is Eric’s calm demeanor coupled with the mad science antics of his partner.

I asked the enthusiastic waitress for menu recommendations. She recommended pretty much everything on the menu but in particular raved about he CSB buns. They cook them hourly and getting one might be synonymous with scoring a Black Friday deal. Once out of the oven, the waitstaff wrestle for them in the hope they can secure them for the patrons at their tables. I drank the Kool-aid and insisted that we secure some of this precious loot. Did we manage to get them?????

STAY TUNED

The drink list comprises of Asian inspired potent potables derived from a collection of traditional cocktails. The Whisky sour is splashed with lemongrass, coriander, pepper and yuzu liqueur. The pina colada is served as boozy bubble tea. The 510 ceasar (which I ended up ordering), was made with garlic and mushroom infused vodka and seasoned with hoison Worcestershire sauce. Mushroom flavour was prominent and heat from the chili sauce was a little shy. The drink was topped with Nori which added a pleasant element of unami. All in all, it was a good Caesar but was a little small in volume which probably helped to intensify the aforementioned flavours.

The first dish to arrive was Eric’s Curry. Beef brisket sat in a pool of curry sauce and mustard greens. It was brilliantly unique. A little salt and sweet and a lot of sour and heat made this great to eat (that’s poetry for you left brained science types). At the time, the dish came with no medium to absorb the sauce (a true engineering flaw) which really was shameful considering how good the sauce was. Maybe we can call it an early oversight since it appears based on the website the dish now comes with coconut rice. Probably the best dish of the night.

Next was the octopus which was served with eggplant and choy sum chimichurri. The presentation was a little sad but the octopus was nicely prepared and finished with a decent char. The eggpplant was clever as a replacement to the normal routine of potatoes or olives and the chimichurri was deliciously unorthadox yet had a familiar flavour I couldn’t quite pinpoint but wanted more.

Shortly after we received the Tom Yum Little Dragon buns ($6). I imagine that Thai flavours in a Chinese bun may be considered as engineerial as calling a soup dumpling a dragon bun but in the end they hit the mark on flavour and were a pleasant bite.

I was a little reluctant to try the lobster chow mein ($25) but my colleague talked me into it. Despite a reasonably sized portion of lobster, it was horribly predictable and had no wow factor at all.

The one platter were ordered was the general saunders’ chicken served with kung pao sauce, sichuan maple syrup, and HK egg waffles. The chicken was nicely seasoned and super moist. The kung pao sauce was delicious and I think the maple syrup is probably an acquired taste but I took the advice of the waitress and mixed the two together which created a mixture which satisfied a number of taste sensations. The waffle portion was a little skimpy but complemented the chicken well in their spin of this traditional southern dish.

General Sanders' chicken $25 — General Sanders’ chicken $25

At this point there a bit of a mad scramble around the kitchen which suggested one thing..the buns were ready. Although I was getting rather full, I couldn’t resist the urge to indulge and our waitress, like a trooper, emerged with an order. The pork filling was a bit scant a certainly played second fiddle to the delicious bread. They were delightfully warm and just a little sweet and filled my need for gimmickry nicely.

At this point I was quite stuffed but another colleague showed up and ordered the beef tartare. The spin was the son and law egg with the sauce served on top of the beef. I had mixed feelings about this one, probably beacuse I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to this dish in particular. I think the beef should be the star and thought the sauce, although matching nicely with the egg, masked the flavour of the beef a little too much.

She also ordered the scallop which was served with hot sauce, chinese greens and sichuan hollandaise. It was hard to put my finger on it, but the dish lacked balance. The heat and bitterness was prominent but it lack sweetness. Maybe the thought was that the scallop would provide enough sweetness to offset the flavours of the hollandaise and Chinese greens. The scallop itself was cooked near perfectly other than lacking a good sear (which affected both its colour and what might have been a necessary caramelization). Personally, I would have kicked up the sweetness of the hollandaise or replaced it all together.

My Take

The Asian fusion concept of R&D is certainly a better fit for Spadina than Strata 241 was. It is a well calculated project with all the fixings of a nouveau Toronto eatery; celebrity chefs, old school rap “fusion food”. I was surprised a bit by Eric’s kitchen demeanor. He was extremely stoic and methodical, focusing more at the task at hand than shining in the limelight as Canada’s first masterchef winner. It’s like he was in a 2 hour mystery box challenge. Like the show, there was a combination of great and not so good dishes. The curry was hands down the best dish of the night. The chicken, octopus, buns and tartare were more than acceptable and the lobster chow mein and scallops were a bit of a train wreck. Also like the show, there was gimmickry and hype lead by the promise of extreme flavours with every dish that didn’t always come to fruition. Much like a television show, the success of R&D will depend on loyalists who will continue to go after trying it once for the novelty, Eric’s ongoing commitment and whether or not people will be able to tolerate Alvin Leung for anymore than a season of Masterchef.

I’ll Be Frank..I was Disgracefully Slumming it Up on Bloor West

April 26, 2015May 3, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

I recently took a road trip to check out the University of Toronto campus with my son. Part of the plan was to hit up a brunch spot and introduce him to some of the joints he would likely frequent during his post-secondary experience. We came through Bloor West, past High Park and eventually parked around Ossington in search of a brunch spot. The initial thought was to walk a few blocks and hit Insomnia to choose from their array of eggs benedict but I called an audible when I walked by Disgraceland and faintly remembered reading something about it having the best something in Toronto. Plus, I could envision my son being more likely to frequent a seedy bar than a place that serves martinis called snowball and diva.

The brunch menu is as no nonsense as the restaurant itself. The tables are dingy and the walls are still sweating booze from the night before. A picture of the man in black reminds you that they are “cash only” and points you in the direction of a historic ATM which comes with a $1.50 service charge.

The service was prompt and friendly and we quickly ordered the heart attack benny and the hangover helper (both $11) with a couple of refreshingly plain coffees. It was a standard benny with the addition of cheddar and tomato (the latter I omitted because I don’t think tomatoes belong on most things let alone eggs benedict). The muffin was a bit chewy and the eggs a few seconds overcooked but the hollandaise did its job unifying everything. The brekkie potatoes were crispy and delicious. All in all, not bad.

My son’s hangover helper was an elixir of nastiness which included eggs, bacon and hollandaise on top of a standard poutine. With those ingredients, I think it would be harder to screw it up than it would be to nail it and my son certainly had no complaints.

After a walk down the street and a pit stop at Long and McQuade (in which I took the opportunity to explain the importance of a good education as he strummed a $2000 Gibson) we crossed the street to “You Gotta Eat Here” alumni Fancy Franks to grab some lunch for later. If burgers are Batman, then hot dogs are Robin and a number of tube steak eateries have opened in the past months. Fancy Franks offers dogs topped with anything from peanut butter to kimchi (most in the $7-9 range) along with other pop culture eats such as poutine ($6-12) and made to order mini donuts for $4-5/dozen. We ordered Franks got Seoul (short rib, kimchi, sesame seeds and scallions) and Franks Coney Island (chili, onions and mustard). The dogs are the snappy type and the toppings are rather abundant. My son (who works at Five Guys burgers and fries) was impressed with condiment bar which even offered a mayo dispenser if one is so inclined. They were tasty (although they start to get quite greasy when they cool down a bit) but I was left wondering what justified the steep price. Maybe I’m a bit biased knowing I can head to Detroit and grab the same Coney dog Anthony Bourdain raved about for $1.50 or head to any street vendor and grab some street meat with half a dozen toppings including sauerkraut, fried onions and corn relish for $3.50 but $8 for a hot dog makes a vendor at the Rogers Centre scratch his head. I wish I could report on the donuts but apparently the machine is quite volatile and was misbehaving on this day so I was out of luck.

My Take

I think our expedition to Toronto taught my son a few things:

The University of Toronto campus is massive.
Carry cash so you don’t get slapped with ATM service charges from places who actually profit from your inconvenience given the fact they only take cash.
Gravy and hollandaise are like him and his sister..they are good together in moderation but I wouldn’t do it too often.
If his ultimate goal is saving up for a Gibson, then eating at Fancy Franks frequently won’t help.

These eateries reflect two of the biggest culinary trends to hit Toronto streets in the past couple of years: brunch and burgers. As I’ve said before, brunch may be a french word for “overpriced breakfast” and Disgraceland succeeds in offering choices that moderately fit this theme. When I say burgers I’m generically referring to trend that has opened the door for establishments which focus on handheld foods which represent “North Amerciana”, I’m sure one can blame the escalating price of beef (Frank’s dogs are 100% beef) for the inflated prices but I’d lean more toward the social phenomenon which suggests that people will pay more for something trendy and an $8 hot dog sounds mighty trendy. So, unless I’m watching R.A. Dickey throwing knuckleballs I’ll stick to street vendors. Even better, maybe I’ll drive to Detroit and watch Verlander pitch on television and eat a Coney dog for every strikeout he gets…it would still be cheaper than a couple of dogs at Franks.

I Got Invited to a Somewhat Lame Toca Party

April 12, 2015April 26, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

At least once a year I get roped into a fancy dinner at a place I normally wouldn’t go. This year it was Toca, the restaurant at the Ritz-Carlton in Toronto. Boasting the fact they have Rome and Michelin star Chef Oliver Glowig on retainer, Toca promises a unique take on Italian cuisine. One can choose from the 4 course tasting menu for $89 or order a la carte. I’m a firm believer that ninety bucks should get you at least 5 or 6 courses so I chose my own adventure and opted for the menu.

The last time I had a $16 bowl of soup I pointed out that it better change my life since it was nothing more than a mushroom broth. Well, I’m still sitting here talking about food so I guess it didn’t work. This time the same price tag offered me zuppa di sedano e patate (celery and potato soup, lobster, peas, green beans, croutons), a soup with an ingredient list which appeared more French than Italian. Once again, it won’t make me beg the Huffington post to print an article I wrote or quit my job and apply at Zomato, but it was more rewarding than the broth. The flavours of the individual ingredients were not dulled by butter or cream or fat but instead expressed a mouth-popping individuality with every bite.

The wine list is comprehensive and offers choices from around the world at a wide spectrum of prices, many of which are triple digits and above. We took a new world followed by an old world approach, sharing a 2009 Hamelin Bay Rampant Red Aussie Shiraz for $75 followed by a 2010 Château de Montmirail from Rhône Valley for $95.

At the advice of the waitstaff, I split an order of the scialatielli (homemade with clams and mussels) with another dinner guest. I thought the pasta itself was fantastic even if the fruits de mer were a bit stingy. There seems to be this growing trend to group clams and mussels in with some of the more illustrious seafood options out there for the purposes of jacking up the price. I mean, I can still buy about 6 pounds of mussels for the price of a small lobster so $26 for 4 or 5 clams is a bit of a stretch.

Scialatielli with Clams and Mussels (half a $26 dollar order)

For my entree I went with the half galletto croccante;Lemon and rosemary roasted cornish hen for $26. I felt a bit friendless in my inability to secure a whole hen but my table mates were sold on the tasting menu, black cod and filet mignon. Normally, I’m all over black cod but I think I’ve begun a formal protest against the combination of seafood and olives/tomatoes, so I avoided it on this occasion. So, I was left alone to dine on the simple yet nicely prepared fowl. The skin was crispy and well seasoned and the hen itself was moist although I didn’t care much for the tomato stack sidekick. The gnocchi (pictured on back of plate) was cooked in butter and sage and available as a side for $9 for 4 pieces.

Galletto Croccante (Lemon and Rosemary Roasted Cornish Hen $26)

Dessert was a Cachi Melograno (yogurt mousse with pomegranate sorbet and persimmon) for $14. This combination of ingredients could have produced either an overly tart or sickly sweet confection but it was light, fragrant and balanced, ending the meal with some palate cleansing pleasure.

My Take

I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I have high expectations when it comes to restaurants whose quality is assumed by the prices they charge for their food. This is the case with eateries within many of downtown Toronto’s luxury hotels. Even when I travel abroad, I frequently reconsider visiting a restaurant (even when associated with a reputable chef) when I find out it’s attached to a hotel. That said, the food was quite acceptable but fell a little short if you approach it from a value perspective. For example, although I didn’t have the tasting menu myself, for $89 I would have expected something a little more creative (eg. more small dishes) instead of a sampling of something I can get off the menu anyway. Come to think about it, it was more prix fixe than it was tasting.

One of the fundamentals of a Ritz-Carlton experience is an exceptional, if not slightly nauseating level of service. Fortunately or not (depending on your take), this didn’t occur. It was cordial and efficient but not over the top. The general ambiance made me wonder whether a woman who showed up with her dog Cuddles in her Prada handbag would leave satisfied that her ego got stroked as much as her dog does. Speaking of which, the people watching was a bit disappointing. The rather sterile crowd was not nearly as entertaining as the fur shawl wearing couple I saw at the Trump a year or two ago, making for a rather lame Toca party.

I Know I’m as White as the Adrak Duck but Cut Me Some Quack

April 5, 2015April 5, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

I was meeting a customer for a dinner in the North and since we both agreed on Indian, he suggested Adrak in Richmond Hill. So, I hopped on Open Table and made a reservation for the following week.

I’m not overly familiar with Richmond Hill so I needed to type this one into my iPhone. With the help of Siri I was directed into an abandoned parking lot with a small sign stuck in the ground indicating that the restaurant was somewhere in the vicinity. After parking, I walked around to the front of one of the buildings and found the entrance rather easily. It’s quite spacious, complete with a glassed off area housing tandoori ovens pumping out meat and bread at a feverish rate. There is a unique cocktail menu which brings flavours of the Southeast into a potent potable. Although I was tempted, I was deterred by the need to drive back to airport area afterwards.

Although Adrak means ginger in Hindi, the minute I heard the name of this restaurant I thought of the Aflac duck. This mischievous water fowl made headlines when the absolutely obnoxious Gilbert Gottfried was fired as the voice for making a series of inappropriate jokes related to the tsunami in Japan years back.. Since then, the duck has continued to get in trouble in commercials by most recently attending a yoga class so he can shamelessly stare at women’s asses in tight pants.

Since the Alfac duck is really white and the name sounds like Adrak, I would like to propose that the term Adrak duck refer to any really white person that walks into a ethnic restaurant and either gets questioned about their food choice or their level of spice. I have been the victim of this practice numerous times and just think I’ll start belting out “Adrak!” in a duck voice whenever this happens. Consider the following examples. I recently walked into a Thai restaurant with my daughter and we ordered fresh spring rolls with pork rind in it. The waitress raised an eyebrow and asked if we were sure we wanted pork rind because it was skin. Although I was tempted to yell “Adrak!”, as much as I hated to do it, I had to resort to a foodie look while stating “Yes, I’m aware”. I also have a Sri Lankan friend I will meet for lunch on occasion. Whether we go for East Asian or Indian, the level of spice is a discussion between the waitstaff and I with frequent glances at my friend with a “is this guy for real?” quizzical look on their face. The assumption is the level of heat needs to be tailored to me since I’m the wimpy white guy.

ADRAK!

I’ve read reviews questioning the service at Adrak. Maybe it was the fact that it was a Wednesday night but I found it prompt and courteous. The night began with a decent amuse bouche reminiscent of arancini with saffron accents and served atop a tangy tomato sauce.

Tandoori Temptations

We started the night with a trio of protein from the tandoori oven; salmon tikka, bhatti da murgh (chicken legs) and chaamp taajar (lamb chops). Each was seasoned with an array of spices, fired up and attractively served. Before putting in the order, however, it happened. Totally ignoring the Indian guy at the table, he looked at the two white guys at the table and asked about the spice level. We agreed on spicy and he proceeded to inform us that Indian spice is hotter than normal spice.

ADRAK!

Even for a white guy, everything was nicely spiced and didn’t require copious amounts of water nor a call to Telehealth to digest. Despite the extreme heat of the tandoori oven, the meat kept its interior moisture and the traditional sauces were a nice complement.

Next, we decided on a few curries. At the recommendation of my guest, we ordered the Dal Makhani (lentil) and the less traditional Adraki mushroom dishes. He also recommended the Romali Roti as opposed to Naan. I added the Matter Paneer (pea and cheese) and the smokey Bangain Bharta (eggplant). Quite confident with our dominance of the tandoori, I figured spice wouldn’t be an issue this time but in sitcom fashion, the waiter reminded us the spices are more prominent in curries so we should might want to bring it down a notch.

ADRAK!

The lentils were delicious but extremely rich driven by the background taste of lots of butter. One of my favorite characteristics of a curry is the consistency and I found the mushrooms a bit disjointed. The flavours were fine but just didn’t blend as nicely as I hoped. The peas were spot on; a nicely balanced mix of sweet and tangy with a perfect texture. I thought the eggplant was decent as well although not as good as the dal or matter. Once again, the spice level was quite acceptable, even for a tongue flexing Caucasian.

While waiting for the curry, I watched the chef toss the roti dough like a pizza and delicately place each piece on a heated globe of stone and wait a mere few seconds for it to heat up and then skillfully fold it into a basket for the table. Now I can barely eat with a fork, so using the roomali roti ($5) as a vessel is always a fun adventure which usually ends up with me spilling something on my shirt or lap. I’d probably be safer with some basmati and a fork but what’s the fun in that and plus, I’m not a huge fan of rice.

mushroom — Adraki Mushroom $14 and Bangain Bharta $14

My Take

I’m not suggesting that Adrak did anything wrong by questioning the spice levels for a couple of white dudes but I find this is a common occurrence in a slew of ethnic restaurants. I’m sure it is quite common to have complaints from some clown who thinks he is scary spice come in only to be brought down to baby spice level with one bite of a samosa. At the same time I should point out that I’m not interested in spice that kills the flavour of the food for the purposes of bragging rights but I do like things which are authentic. That said, I’m tempted to stand up and yell “I did it in two minutes and thirty-seven seconds” hysterically as I rip off my shirt and reveal my “I survived the Blazing Wing Challenge Buffalo Wild Wings Shirt” tee to silence the critics.

Adrak was a decent experience in modern Indian food. The service was good and prices were not ridiculous but a little on the high side From the open kitchen in which one can witness dough tossing and hot tandoori ovens to the large variety of traditional and not so traditional curries, any fan of Indian food will find something to satisfy their palate whether your tastes could be better described as baby (Adrak!) or scary spice.

Korean Cowboy: Fried Spaghetti Westerns and a Mad Hatter Menu

March 21, 2015March 21, 2015 spennyrdLeave a comment

Cowboys have always been a focal point in pop culture. Bon Jovi is a cowboy…on a steel horse he rides. Paula Cole asked us where have all the cowboys gone? after she does all the laundry. Jon Favreau reminded us why Olivia Wilde should stick to television and Daniel Craig to James Bond when he directed Cowboys and Aliens (which only received 44% on rotten tomatoes). Whether you watch American Idol or read Louis L’Amour, the cowboy is one of the quintessential symbols of Americana.

Korea on the other hand, elicits another series of thoughts and feelings. Political pundits will cite the lovable Ban Ki-Moon of South Korea or the infamous Kim Jong-un of the North. Youtube junkies have hummed and danced to Psy’s Gangnam Style behind closed doors since 2012. Foodies hear Korean and think about bibimbap, bulgogi and hot pots.

So, when thinking of a Korean Cowboy, any number of images come to mind. One may think of Glenn Rhee swapping out his ball cap for a Stetson in the Walking Dead or the purposely annoying Ken Jeong following the gang to the Alamo in the Hangover 15. Regardless, I suspect the vision of such a cowboy would be more in line with wackiness and fun as opposed to a cameo in a somber scene from the Unforgiven. When looking at the rather insane offerings at Korean Cowboy in advance, I was reminded of the phrase mad hatter which originated from the overt symptoms hatters use to exhibit due to mercury poisoning from the felt used inside of hats and wondered if this menu was a side effect. However, when the website explained that Koreans are fun people who enjoy lots of booze, fun food and general goofiness, I figured the menu was a reflection of the fact that this establishment promised a forum for all three.

Located on Yonge just north of Eglinton, Korean Cowboy had an exciting buzz from the minute I entered. I was greeted by a bubbly waitress and seated at a table with a good view of televisions and saloon-like surroundings. The bar was reminiscent of a scene from an old spaghetti western and offered craft beer, soju and a decent rail of spirits. The name of the restaurant is painted across mirrors situated behind the shelved booze. Speaking of spaghetti, I was intrigued by the first of many anju dishes available on the menu; fried spaghetti. Anju, as I learned from the website, is a generic term given to snacks which are usually served and enjoyed in the presence of alcohol. This fried spaghetti was not the traditional throw leftovers it in a pan and heat up type. It was fried in its dry state, creating an odd but intriguing nibble. For a buck, you can’t go wrong.

It was a Wednesday which happened to be oyster night, meaning you could get a dozen for $12. Instead of the traditional hot sauce and horseradish, they were served with a carousel of unique toppings which included among others Korean tabasco, chili vinegar, sesame, coffee and soju. Each put a fun and unique spin on eating a plate full of the molluscs. The coffee was probably the most unique and the chili vinegar was one of the best.

There are no apologies on the menu for the lack of fine food. Instead, the menu items looked like the product of an episode of Chopped held in a dorm room. Take the hot dog stir fry ($3.99)for example. The simple combination of chopped wieners, vegetables and a ketchup sauce result in a dish you want to hate but can’t. It’s tangy and sweet and something you would crave on a street corner after a few pints and allow you to go to bed confident that you’d wake up fine the next morning.

The cheesy spicy rice cakes were a cross between laffy taffy and ball game nachos with that repulsive yet delicious spicy cheese sauce. The chewy rice cakes may not appeal to everybody, but as a guy who loves tapioca and any kind of pudding I found the texture oddly appealing especially when hidden among the nostalgic stadium flavours. This dish was a home run.

The steamed bun burger ($3.99) was a decent attempt at this classic Asian snack. The Korean spiced beef sat nicely in the white folded bun riddled with black sesame seeds. Green onions and cucumbers finished it off. It was messy, wonder bread fun.

BBQ Beef Buns $3.99 — BBQ Beef Bun $3.99

Strategies to get kids to eat vegetables usually involves dousing them in cheese, sauce and/or butter. This is usually the case with brussel sprouts and broccoli but Korean Cowboy does it with corn. It tasted like one of Gramma’s casseroles before anybody gave a shit about butter or fat. It was ridiculously but regretfully good, much like a vat of movie popcorn or a slice of greasy, deep dish pizza.

I’m always interested in a good taco so I ordered one of each of the korean beef, spicy pork and chicken. Each was filled with a cabbage salad and the aforementioned meats in a rather large flour tortilla. They were decent but in a city in which tacos have become a foodie staple, they fell a little short. The shell was too much and swallowed instead of housing the taste of the proteins. Retrospectively, I should have ordered ssam (lettuce wraps) instead to allow the filling to shine a little more.

The wings were also a bit disappointing. They were “cooked the Korean way” and bathed in your choice of a number of sauces. After the anju, I expected a wing with a compilation of crunch, succulent sweet and sinister spice. They weren’t as crunchy nor sweet or spicy enough. They had the texture of a M and M breaded wing that had been baked in the oven for 20 minutes. The fries were fresh cut and tasted especially good when dipped in the hot dog or rice cake sauce.

My Take

Korean cowboy is a playful addition to mid-town Toronto dining. Whether it is the decent choice of craft beer, a glass of soju or a variety of anju, malarkey ensues the minute you sit down. The food is a mix of dorm room creations and campfire provisions developed through the delirium of a culinary mad hatter who wants to fuse Korean fare with edible Americana. The tacos and wings were average. Despite the fact I tore through a good part of the menu, there are still things like sawdust chicken,G-PO (file fish), kimchi fries and squid and pear salad not to mention a number of pork dishes including mocha pork belly and the King Koink platter. Maybe next time I visit I’ll throw on a mercury-free fedora and hum Kid Rock’s “I’m a cowboy baby….I can smell a pig from a mile away” as I strut up Yonge street and sniff the air.