spennyrd

DDD:Vancouver:Tomahawk BBQ

May 14, 2013May 14, 2013 spennyrd1 Comment

Driving down a highway, I see deer jumping, wild turkeys frolicking in farmer’s field’s and large billboards features perfectly constructed burgers which are attractively stacked like luxury seafront condos. Succumbing to temptation, I will on occasion pull over and roll the dice on the possibility that some burger, somewhere will even slightly resemble the imagery posted roadside. Instead, I feel like William D-FENS Foster (played by Michael Douglas in the 1993 movie Falling Down) in the fictional Whammy Burger:

“See, this is what I’m talkin’ about. Turn around. Look at that. Do you see what I mean. It’s, it’s plump, it’s juicy, it’s three inches thick. Now, look at this sorry, miserable, squashed thing. Can anybody tell me what’s wrong with this picture? Anybody? Anybody at all.”

The only difference is I’m not carrying a gun or wearing a short sleeve shirt and tie.

I had expected to be fooled by the propaganda of Tomahawk BBQ, which has been featured on both Diners, Drive-ins and Dives and You Gotta Eat Here. Around since the 20’s, it promises meat as organic and the leaping deer themselves. It features big breakfasts and great burgers. After what was a hellish cab ride over the wrong Vancouver bridge, I arrived and was seated at the bar (picture an old school diner with round stools and formica counters). I turned around to see two gents eating a breakfast (which I later determined to be the mixed grill-Nine generous slices of Yukon style bacon, two country fresh eggs, fried or scrambled, two slices of Klondike toast, organic hamburger patty, aged cheddar cheese, wiener, onions and fresh sautéed mushrooms) served on a plate the size of a hubcap. Despite this temptation, I had to have a burger.

It was difficult choosing from the 15 choices, but I settled on the Skookum Chief Burger (Onions, lettuce, organic ground beef patty, Yukon bacon, egg, aged cheddar cheese, wiener, tomato, and Tomahawk special sauce). I prepared myself for internal rage as I patiently waited for the arrival of another substandard burger. I was, however, occupied by the “It’s B.C For Me” fact-filled placemat complete with sketches of Canadian legends, facts and stories including bears, igloos and whales living in Hudson bay.

The burger arrived as a tower of truth. Each ingredient was evident and identifiable. Even the minor details, from the toasting of the homemade bun to the angles of the cheese to the liberal yet not overabundant use of sauce, made this a billboard burger which ended up tasting exactly like it looked.

Insanity dictated dessert, so I opted for banana cream pie. Was it as good as it looked? Pretty damn close.

The food lives up to the legend. The decor is a mix of aboriginal artifacts, a candy shop and mildly cheesy souvenir store. The service, at least the day I was there, was exactly what I expected; they weren’t wearing suits and shining bar glasses with sheepskin bar cloths but instead they were hard working people whose moods mirror the people sitting in front of them. I like sincere service in whatever form it comes in…just ask William D-FENS Foster:

“Why am I calling you by your first names? I don’t even know you. I still call my boss “Mister”, and I’ve been working for him for seven years, but all of a sudden I walk in here and I’m calling you Rick and Sheila like we’re in some kind of AA meeting… I don’t want to be your buddy, Rick. I just want some breakfast”.

Verdict: 5 Guyz

Review:Toronto:Kensington:Seven Lives

May 12, 2013May 13, 2013 spennyrdLeave a comment

Kensington is often a turnstile for what’s trendy. As a result, it’s not surprising that Seven Lives has opened in an attempt to follow the lead of tacocentric eateries such as Grand Electric and La Carnita. Sitting in the middle of this neighbourhood, it’s a small space with great music and seating for no more than a dozen people plus a small patio area in front. The menu consists primarily of tacos although one could get ceviche or fries as well.

In honour of the fact that seven lives has a logo which strongly resembles internet sensation grumpy cat, I’ve invited him along to assist in the review.

Seven Lives Logo

One of the features is three vats of juice (flavours rotate) sitting on the counter. You get a pint size serving for only $2. I opted for mango over tamarind and it was quite refreshing, which was a good thing since it killed the significant amount of time I had to wait. I managed to beat the crest of the the rush, which topped 30 or so people in line, but I still had to wait 20 minutes (or 3/4 of my mango juice) for my 3 tacos.

Grumpy Cat?

My definition of a good taco: one with moist, well seasoned fillings and abundant toppings.

I decided on the signature $5 Gobernador (stuffed with smoked marlin, shrimp and cheese). The taco was stuffed full and its flavour was dominated by plenty of smoky fish, which was slightly dry. The shrimp, cheese and other ingredients couldn’t compete with the intensity of the marlin in either texture or taste, so in the end it was quite monotone.

Taco number two was the $5 pulpo en mole verde (octopus with pumpkin seed mole). Unlike the Gobernador, the flavours were much more complex (as a mole should be), complete with a little sweet and a little spice. The condiments were also more abundant, so the flavours were more rounded. The pumpkin seeds added a nice crunch. The octopus was a bit chewy however.

The standard $4 carnita (pork) was taco number 3. It was topped with the standard guacamole, tomato and onion. I didn’t understand the huge chunks of pork which resulted in a dryer, less flavorful filling. It lacked much of the pizazz of other pork tacos I have had.

The Seven Lives’ salsas were well done. I tried both medium and hot, both of which were a nice balance of flavour and heat.

Grumpy Cat?

There's more to like than salsa. — There’s more to life than salsa.

My Take

In a taco shop containing all things Mexican, Speedy Gonzalez wasn’t one of them. Even by beating the rush, I still had a 20 minute wait. Bring your pesos, because Seven Lives is CASH ONLY. For the most part the tacos are quantity versus quality. relying on copious amounts of overcooked and underseasoned meats at the expense of the delicate architecture which normally exists between shell, fillings and condiments. In the end, it was a bit of a disappointment.

Grumpy Cat?

If this is Seven Lives, I don't want the other two. — If this is Seven Lives, I don’t want the other two.

Review:Toronto:The Annex:Harbord Room

May 10, 2013May 11, 2013 spennyrdLeave a comment

I’ve had a few celebrity sightings in life. I remember seeing famed baseball pitcher Denis Martinez in a café after a Red Sox game back in the mid 90’s. I rode 7 floors on an elevator with Alicia Silverstone and her dog in Toronto hotel circa 2004.

Nothing, however, makes me as excited as meeting anybody who has anything to do with the food industry. I have had run-ins with icons Lynn Crawford and Mark McEwan. I’ve met top chef participants Jonathan Korecki, Carl Heinrich and Connie DeSousa through visits to their restaurants.

Needless to say I was quite excited to meet Kevin Brauch during a recent visit to Harbord Room, a well established restaurant making good burgers and high end cocktails before burgers and high end cocktails were so cool. He came in toward the end of my Monday night meal and we had a chance to chat all things food, drink, Alton Brown and Iron Chef. Let me put it into perspective… I’d rather meet a guy who had built his career drinking all over the world and managing the egos of the likes of Bobby Flay than let’s say, Tom Cruise, whose definition of acting is trying to convince us that he could street fight guys half his age and twice his height.

Must

Harbord room had a cool burger before having cool burgers was cool. Erring on the side of simplicity, it’s as well known as Mario Batali’s orange crocs and the burger praises are ubiquitous in every critic and blogger review. It’s a gem from the bun to the perfectly cooked beef to the fries.

The whitefish ceviche was a blackboard special that was fresh and clean with perfect tones of heat and acidity and a Morimotoish delicacy.

As charcuterie crests in popularity across the GTA, Harbord room keeps up with the times with a board full of carnivorous treats ranging from venison pepperoni to an airy chicken liver pate to a pleasant terrine that would make Marc Forgione’s hair stand on end (ok..bad example). There were house pickles, great crostini, homemade preserves and a fried egg round it all off.

Harbord room has also stayed current in the world of cocktails, likely in part to the fact about a third of the restaurant is taken up by the bar. High end liquors highlight a diverse drink menu which can get rather pricy. I indulged in “Liquid Swords”, a complex meczal based multi-ingredient drink with an execution as meticulous and passionate as a Michael Symon lamb chop.

Consideration toward a good side is like paying homage to a good sous chef. Let’s call the rapini the Anne Burell of sides. Bitter rapini, salty almonds, hot chili and sweet sultanas only make sense as it appeals to all senses.

Maybe

There was a bit of Cornish hen controversy as our table was told it was not available due to a lack of greens. We asked for it anyway only to find out that it hadn’t been brined for the appropriate amount of time but they would serve it anyway. Despite the lack of bath time, the poultry was delicious and moist. If anything the sausage, the only thing on the plate not involved in the controversy, was as lackluster as an Iron Chef trying to make dessert.

I enjoy olive oil cake and I like Harbord’s spin. Priced in the single digits, it hit all the elements of a good dessert. The citrus and chocolate sides provided some variety to the neutral cake. The almond crunch added some needed texture.

Olive Oil Cake with Custard, Sorbet and Crunch

Mundane

Let’s call this a relative mundane list. Nothing at Harbord was bad per se, but the strength of the menu made some of the dessert seem a bit substandard. The Valrhona Dark Chocolate & Smoked Banana Terrine, Salted Caramel, Peanut Butter Mousse & Dehydrated Chocolate & Banana Chips was a bit confusing. A little too deconstructed, the flavours didn’t quite come together. The Fresh Ricotta Doughnuts
Espresso & Caramel Pot de Creme, Espresso Tapioca & Crumble Meringue Wafer were decent but a bit predictable. Although good and filled with diverse flavor, I don’t get the meringue wafer trend. A little too much sweet on sweet.

Doughnuts and Terrine — Doughnuts and Chocolate Banana Terrine

I realize sex sells, but really……

Ummm....Harbord Cappuccino — Ummm….Harbord Cappuccino

My Take

The constant rave about the burger is a bit of a disservice to Harbord room. The complex drinks, brilliant charcuterie and intuitive sides elevate it to iron chef caliber beyond it’s signature dish. In a highly competitive market, Harbord maintains a balance between what works and what might work.

In honour of Kevin Brauch, Harbord room is one of the iron chefs of the Toronto restaurant scene. Challengers emerge, claiming vivacious vibes and great burgers but Harbord has held the test of time against these admirable culinary opponents. It maintains tradition yet remains current in a manner synonymous with the likes of Geoffrey Zakarian. I’m looking forward to the new THR and Co. spin-off in May. Gotta run….I think Tom’s coming to kick my ass. I’d tell him to pick on somebody his own size, but my 13 year old daughter is not home right now.

DDD:Baltimore:Chap’s Pit Beef

May 10, 2013April 20, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

Part of the difficulty of ranking DDDs, or any restaurants for that matter, if the fact that they are so different. Take Chaps Pit Beef for example. It’s a humble abode with a simple concept; charcoaled meat on bread but can it compete with likes of sausage gravy and Maryland’s own blue crab cakes?

The directions are straight forward.

1.Get on the Pulaksi highway.

2. Look for Gentleman’s Gold Club.

3. Enter parking lot. Park. Leave car.

4. Follow smell of smoky goodness to small, stand alone shack.

5. Enter.

6. Got to counter, imagine any combination of meat possible (beef, sausage, ham, turkey and corned beef). Many are named after famous people, teams etc. Put pointer finger and thumb on chin and stare blankly at the numerous choices.

7. Order.

8. Move to the other side of counter and wait.

9. When food comes proceed to condiment counter and dress accordingly.

I felt a pang of betrayal not ordering the The Guy’s Triple D, but decided on the Richwich, a corned beef, beef, turkey and sausage which pays homage to Man vs Food host Adam Richman (sorry Guy, but it had two kinds of beef!).

Having just eaten at Sip and Bite, I took it to go and drove toward Pennsylvania with a side of tiger (horseradish) and house made BBQ sauce. I had every intention of waiting until I drove a reasonable distance before digging in, but as I said on yelp, it spoke to me, asking me over and over to eat it. I really had no choice, so I finally had to succumb, pull over for safety reasons. I slathered it with the sauces and indulged. I must of looked like a cross between a rabid dog (complete with dripping tiger sauce) and a fat kid in a pie eating contest. I swear a state officer did a double take making sure I wasn’t wrestling a ruffed grouse.

Chaps is a straight forward sandwich and burger shack set up in the parking lot of a strip bar. Chaps offers a fantastic sandwich, highlighted by the tender beef, corned beef and turkey. The sausage was so-so and a bit awkward, so I would likely go with the Raven (beef, turkey, corned beef ) next time. As for the sausage, I’ll leave it for the Gentleman’s Gold Club.

Verdict: 5 Guyz

Richwich- Dressed with Tiger Sauce and Attacked

Review:Toronto:King West:Weslodge

May 6, 2013May 6, 2013 spennyrdLeave a comment

Behind the Yellow Door- A Western Romance

A Novel by Gary Tayles

Introduction

If you ask any foodie for an opinion (which they are willing to give) , I think they would compare a Charles Khabouth restaurant empire to a romance novel. Romance novels are pretty on the outside, using bare-chested, robe wearing, chiseled men with flowing manes who embrace buxom babes with their eyes closed and mouths open. The interior, however, often lacks substance, with predictable themes of forbidden love and turgidity. The Khabouth empire, on the other hand, have beautiful decors, characterized by trendy themes, hardwood accents and big, well-stocked bars. Yet, in the opinion of some, the menu is often overpriced and lacks taste and substance.

Chapter 1- I Must Have Her

I opened up the large door and entered the saloon called Weslodge. Smiling damsels greeted my group and we were sat beneath the watchful eye of a stuffed ptarmigan. The holster wearing waitstaff were rag proper; with coifs and pressed shirts who asked me to choose my lotion. There were 4 or 5 pints of purge available on tap but I opted for an orange spiced old-fashioned. The bourbon was nicely complemented by strong bitters which flirted with my eager tongue.

Of the number of tantalizing smalls offered on the bill of fare, the scallops were anything but tiny. I was seduced by the ample cleavage which was accented with iberico crumbs and placed atop tender, firm lentils. They were tender and had a taste as fine as cream gravy.

As I did at Patria, Weslodge’s equally attractive sister (I musn’t tell her to avoid the family drama), I gambled and opted for shishito peppers; each was breaded and salted delicately. This dish was flirtatious in that one out of every 10-15 are extra hot. It took only two to find the spicy vixen I was seeking.

CRISPY SHISHITO PEPPERS $6 — Crispy Shishito Peppers
$6

My search for a sweet piece of calico succeeded in the form of a sticky pudding. She was traditional, with a simple beauty and a presentation that was highly desirable.

Chapter 2- Maybe Baby

I liked her buns…they looked nice beside my pickle. The burger itself was decent (I would call it average among the many burgers in the area) and a few more of the delicious fries (to go with the tomatillo ketchup) would have been nice.

The chickpea panelle is one of the only truly vegetarian items on the menu (many things are sprinkled with chorizo or iberico). This bella donna is a sexy side with the mouth feel of a voluptuous set of lips.

The dessert menu is elusive, so I inserted a pistareen to get a look at the Weslodge peepshow. Two sisters emerged; one was a prim and proper chocolate toffee bar donning gold (well..gold leaf). The other was a bit more a hot mess, speckled with meringue pieces (I really don’t get this trend), strawberries and sweet biscuits and cream. I can’t remember the exact name of these two lasses (I didn’t write them down in my black book), which is ok because what happens at Weslodge stays at Weslodge. In the end, after the sticky pudding, I felt a bit adulterous consuming these sweeties anyway.

Weslodge Gold Donning Dessertn($10 I think() — Weslodge Gold Donning Dessert($10 I think)

Chapter 3– Ugly as a Mud Fence

The Squash taters tots arrived as cold as an unpaid wag-tail. They were sent back and the second batch arrived only slightly warmer. Regardless, they wouldn’t have been that good even at the right temperature.

The arctic char was a bit flimsy, underseasoned and wasn’t exactly charred. I had to look up Henry Moore (to ensure he was not some sort of jilted lover who would come back carrying a peacemaker and a frown). It turned out it’s a South Carolina plantation which grows rice and other grains. Whew! The grits were tasty and creamy but a bit mismatched with the oils and the char itself. The $26 price tag was steep. Honestly, I would have liked to see the grits without the char on the sides menu for a more reasonable price.

Squash Tots ($& Squash Tots ($7) and Charred Arctic Char ($26) — Squash Tots ($7) and Charred Arctic Char with Henry Moore Grits($26)

Afterward

In the previous western romance, a group of schrunchers enters the yellow doors of Weslodge looking for sheconnery. The decor, from the large central bar to the quincy, is adorned with trinkets and taxidermy that would appease Ernest Hemingway. The bar is without any sheephearder’s delight and instead offers high end and often house made firewater. The service had fits and starts, but the holstered staff were welcoming and the flow of food was reasonably steady.

Weslodge possesses a definite culinary sexuality which relies on attractive decor combined with delicate feminine dishes and desserts coupled with the masculinity of 3o+ ounce chucks of bone-in meat to feed testosterone-driven cravings. Charles Khabouth may in fact be the equivalent of Fabio in the restaurant world. Nobody will admit they like him but his popularity remains unquestionable. I would be remiss if I said that Weslodge had the substance of a Harlequin romance (or let’s say 50 shades for those who have no idea what I’m talking about) but it does have a few things that left me a bit mitten.

DDD:Philadelphia:Silk City Diner

May 3, 2013 spennyrdLeave a comment

It was stormy night, long ago in Philadelphia. On the last night of a week long conference, after smiling in front of customers and running up the Rocky stairs, I was ready for Silk City Diner. Other than the fact it’s a DDD and it’s foundation is a old school diner, I knew little about this Philadelphia icon.

Since I was already an expert in the Philly landscape (based on my previous walk to Honey’s Sit n’ Eat), I lead my band of fearless eaters down Spring Garden St to our destination. The diner was a little more than I expected, housing a lounge on one side and a beer garden on the other. Despite the promise of a late June storm, we weathered it out and sat in the latter. Adorned with metal trellises, Christmas lights and coloured stools and picnic tables, it looked like it could have been decorated by Don Ho or a creative grade 7 class inspired by Claude Monet.

The Thai Style BBQ ribs were delicious…meaty and flavourful and likely the best thing I ate that night. The pickles, peanuts and hoisin sauce was an odd combination but it worked so well.

Other than a little joint in Toronto (see grand electric in this blog), this is the best fried calamari I have had. It was an abundant pile of hot, tender and spicy all rolled into one.

Philadelphia may not be the haven for comfort soul food, but Silk’s buttermilk chicken reminds me of the deep south (well not really…I’ve never been to the deep south but it did have collard greens and a corn muffin!); a delicious, big ass home cooked meal. Crunchy skin, juicy chicken and all the fixin’s.

In a world filled with burgers approaching $20, a $10 burger (well..$12 with the guacamole and long hots) is an endangered species. Silk’s offering was simple and solid.

The pork belly empanadas were decent but not the highlight of the meal. The slaw and the mango attempted to add some different flavour and texture to the dumplings, but they were a bit doughy. The cilantro cream did little to enhance the dish.

I can’t turn down bread pudding, so I was happy to see Chocolate Banana Brioche Bread Pudding on the menu. It was a little more bread than it was pudding so I let out a little sigh or two.

This is another let the pictures do the talking place. The food is diverse and tasty and there’s a bit of something for everybody. There’s plenty of cocktails and a great beer selection, ranging from $2.50 Tecates to a $4 Oskar Blues Mama’s Little Yella Pils. The portions are huge and the prices are cheapish. The environment is fun and lively, even in the midst of a pending summertime storm.

Verdict: 5 Guyz!

DDD:Philadelphia:Honey’s Sit ‘N Eat

May 1, 2013May 1, 2013 spennyrdLeave a comment

Hindsight is 20/20 and looking back, a random walk solo from downtown Philadelphia to North Liberties without research was not a good idea. Sometimes in my search for culinary excellence I pull a Scooby-Doo. I ignore zombies, monsters and ogres to pursue a wafting scent in a effort to fulfill my internal hunger.

This is not to say that the neighbourhood of North Liberties is bad. It’s just the fact I didn’t do my homework. After all, it was Will Smith who warned me of the perils of West Philadelphia, so I felt that North Liberties was safe. I was quite relieved to reach my destination. More so, I was happy to see that a couple was skipping the same conference I was to order to indulge in Philly’s local cuisine.

The 20-minute wait seemed palatable, especially when sitting among locals and tourists alike. When I finally had my name called, I maneuvered between kids, the elderly and the locals alike to get to my seat at the bar. I was promptly served a great coffee, given a menu and had the specials explained to me in great detail by a friendly dude behind the counter.

In the end, I stared at the blackboard and opted for their version of Toad in the Hole. There was no yorkie and no sausage. It was grilled bread with a fried egg as a centrepiece and mildly seasoned with truffle oil. Despite the deceit, it was prepared perfectly. It came with a potato latke and applesauce to create a bit of a carbohydrate overload. The latke was a bit chewy but the applesauce was terrific. At the suggestion of a regular patron, I also ordered a side of blueberry jam which was delicious even from the perspective of a Northern Ontarian who grew up sucking on frozen blueberries instead of a teething ring.

Honey's Toad in the Hole — Honey’s Toad in the Hole

Highlighted by great food, this place just works. Just shy of pretentious but with enough muscle flexing, you can order everything from Jewish-inspired dishes to reasonably priced kid’s meals. You feel cool (ie. Will Smith as opposed Carlton) and like you belong, even when you are in line. There are few places that give you that feeling so easily and for that reason…

The Verdict: 5 Guyz

Review:Toronto:Little Italy:Bestellen

April 30, 2013May 1, 2013 spennyrd2 Comments

A colleague of mine asked me a simple question the other day. “Where can I get a good steak in Toronto?”. There seems to be a few answers:

1. A steak house with cuts of beef as pricy as buying half a heifer at an auction not to mention the fact that the creamed spinach is extra.

2. A chain offering AAA cut steak which inevitably ends up being generic like the rest of the menu.

3. A few bistros which pair it with frites and douse it in some kind of butter so they can call it French cuisine.

This got me thinking about my recent visit to Bestellen and why it didn’t come top of mind. The showcase of the rather large dining room is a transparent meat locker housing steaks of all shapes and sizes. One of the features is a $98, 32 oz steak with marrow and sides. Otherwise, they offer a daily cut in the $30 range. Add the fact it’s the brain child of Top Chef contestant Rob Rossi and it sounds like a slam dunk, right?

Must

You can’t go wrong with “buck a shuck” oysters, which were fresh and addictive. Although not served with fancy mignonette, they had the essentials; a lemon wedge, horseradish and a bottle of Tabasco.

The “toad in the hole” was a current spin on a old favorite. The batter had a yorkie lightness which surrounded dense and delicious black pudding. The eggs were a good medium to blend the contrasting textures and flavours. The spattering of scallions added a bit of colour and and freshness.

Opting for the small charcuterie option for $13, I was treated to 3 house-made meats complete with a few pickles, some mustard and some toasted bread drenched in olive oil which was absolutely fantastic. The meats themselves were thinly sliced and cured beautifully. It was a pleasure to eat.

Maybe

Although a little skimpy on the condiments, the steak tartare was delicious. Half a quail egg and a few jalapenos were nothing more than decorations. The chips were alright but weren’t the tastiest vehicle for scooping the tender meat.

Why do I order deviled eggs in a restaurant? They were tasty enough but not worth 6 buck and shuck oysters (see picture above…with the charcuterie).

The Budino dessert and olive oil cake were reasonably priced at $7 and a good example of Rob Rossi’s Italian heritage although they did not elevate to the level of Lutheran grace. The ice cream was splendid, an apparent reflection of a new machine just installed in the kitchen.

Budino and Olive Oil Cake ($7) — Budino and Olive Oil Cake ($7 each)

Mundane

On this particular night, the feature was flank steak for $28. I envisioned a slice of a magical beast taken from the locker adorning the centre of the restaurant. Instead I received a few overcooked slices of tough, overdone meat served on a rather bland puree. Even the presentation was rather lame. It looked a bit like leftovers.

Given it wasn’t a really busy night, the service was rather slow. The wine list is set up by offering $45, $65 and $85 bottles. I opted for a mediocre Pigeoulet Provence at the middle price. The waiter did not seem overly concerned that I didn’t enjoy it, assuring me it was “the type of grape”.

My Take

Bestellen is a German named pseudo-steakhouse run by an Italian on the edge of Little Italy. It’s atypically large compared to other eateries in the area, so one can argue it lacks a bit of coziness, especially if it’s not busy. It has a bistro feel in the front, with tall, wooden tables and a window view. Toward the back is an open kitchen with long, communal seating for larger parties. The above mentioned meat locker divides the two concepts.

At the time, the menu offered a spattering of cultures but since, the menu has evolved and now seems to offer at whole lot of Italy, minus the ubiquitous pizza and pasta peppering the rest of College street. The toad in the hole and deviled eggs has disappeared, leaving polenta, octopus and fritto misto on the forefront. A little over a year ago, the Globe and Mail review referred to Bestellen as a steak house. Yes, you can get a $100 steak with all the fixings but the daily cut was disappointing. It’s a bit of a tease that you’re 15 feet away from tenderloins, porterhouses and skirt steaks but have no access to most of the choices on a nightly basis.

I can sum up Bestellen with one word…awkward. Traveling to the suburbs of Little Italy for buck a shuck oysters but questionable service and suboptimal steak leaves me undecided. Maybe delving into a suckling pig or indulging on a full charcuterie plate would make me feel better. As far as recommendations for my colleagues…I suggested the following advice by Buddy Black and Leroy Van Dyke:

Forty-five dollar bidja now, fifty dollar fifty wouldja make it fifty biddle
Onna fifty dolla fifty dolla. Wouldja gimme fifty, wouldja gimme fifty dolla
Bill? I gotta fifty dolla bidja now, five, wouldja biddle onna fifty-five,
Biddle onna fifty-five, fifty-five. Who’s gonna bitta the fifty five dollar
Bill?

-The Auctioneer (1956)

DDD:Cleveland:Lucky’s Cafe

April 29, 2013May 1, 2013 spennyrdLeave a comment

Despite living in Ontario, I’ve been there three times and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Each visit is an experience. It’s a bit outside the normal definition of a DDD, but still maintains the fact that food is delicious. I’ll let the pictures do the talking regarding Lucky’s, which is located in Tremont, a posh neighbourhood in Cleveland. It has all the elements of a great breakfast/lunch place.

Lucky's Herb and Vegetable Garden — Lucky’s Herb and Vegetable Garden

From sweet to savory, anybody’s taste will be satisfied here.

The “biscuits” dish is surreal, with sausage gravy I can only describe as some sort of nectar of the porcine gods. Both the biscuits and the eggs are light and fluffy like clouds where these gods reside. The potatoes and grapes are perfect sides, especially when you douse the former with their homemade hot sauce. One of the best breakfasts I’ve ever had.

Perhaps the only thing that could make the above dish better is bacon. In its own creative style, Lucky’s offers pecan coated bacon which bring some sweet into the natural saltiness of this iconic meat. Although a buck and a half a slice, all you’ll need is a slice or two.

The gingerbread waffle floated like a magic carpet carrying Aladdin in the form of maple apples and honey whipped cream. According to the new menu, this waffle has been replaced with a lemon one. Needless to say, I don’t doubt it will be equally good.

For the tree huggers, there’s a granola and yogurt offering, complete with fresh fruit (although I don’t think the bananas were grown within 100 miles of Tremont).

For the savory at heart, the Reuben is fantastic. Other than the cheese I believe the entire dish is house-made, from the bread to the sauerkraut, including the potato salad. I ordered it with the soup which was equally delicious.

Lucky's Potato Salad — Lucky’s Potato Salad

The Verdict

Instead of my normal banter, I’ll rely on the visuals to get my point across. Lucky’s is a friendly, consistent and quality cafe in the heart of a city not known for a plethora of culinary genius (well, except for Michael Symon who made an appearance during the taping of Lucky’s on DDD). It’s a can’t miss spot for me with every visit to Cleveland. The food is amazing, it’s clean and the service is friendly. Ask Zagat, who rates it 27, 20 and 24 respectively.

5 Guyz!

Review:Toronto:Parkdale:Electric Mud BBQ

April 28, 2013April 28, 2013 spennyrdLeave a comment

Spin-offs can be a dangerous thing. Just asked the legendary Jackee who couldn’t even find success in a pilot on the heels of the late 80s comedy 227. Richard Grieco may agree, given his to attempt to leap from 21 Jump Street to Booker and falling flat on his face. Electric Mud BBQ is a newish eatery cut from the cloth of the highly successful Grand Electric. The theme seems to be an attempt to capture the vibe of its Parkdale brother through its own twist on loud music (in this cases old school blues), trendy snack foods and of course a cash only policy.

The decor is as unique as Grand Electric’s and although not as big or elaborate (which isn’t saying much), there is an open kitchen and seating at both the bar and tables of different shapes and sizes.

Most importantly, the menu is a spin on soul food, with offerings which include fried chicken, slaw, ribs and shrimp ‘n grits. It was in line with the Otis Redding spinning on the turntable as I grabbed a seat at the bar. Like Grand Electric, there is a mix of current and cool cocktails and well as 4 regional microbrews on tap. I opted for pints of a good IPA.

Must

I’ve often said you can’t go wrong with a fried egg on everything, which lead me to order the crispy pig ear salad. The egg was perfect and sat atop a delicate matrix of delicious pork cracking. The seasoning was reminiscent of the spicy squid at Grand Electric. It’s a unique, mind-blowing flavour that keeps me up at night as I lay flipping through channels and watching reruns of Baywatch Nights.

Fried chicken has often been called a simple dish that’s complicated to perfect. The need for a well seasoned, cripsy coating which protects the juicy integrity of the chicken it houses involves culinary wizardry, a magic much more impressive that the minds that thought that a Ducks of Hazzard spinoff starring Enos would be a good idea. The chicken (2 legs and 2 thighs for $8.50) hit the mark (unlike Enos’ aim) on every level. It was crispy and juicy and seasoned wonderfully. It was served with reserve Tabasco sauce and a side of honey laden with Malden salt although the chicken really didn’t need either. Even the pickled vegetables were a nice touch.

The slaw was fresh and acidic and complemented the chicken well. It was a decent serving for $3.50 and would go well with any of the rich dishes on the menu. Let’s call it the Frasier of food; it made Cheers better but also fared nicely on its own.

Maybe

There is an inherent danger in putting pie in a mason jar, much like an attempt to make Joey Tribbiani the main character in a sitcom. Electric’s banana cream pie ($5) wasn’t a pie; it was more a parfait with layers and loose graham crumbs on the bottom as opposed to a defined crust. It was a nice few bites but like Joey, was sweet and a bit confused.

Mundane

With Grand Electric’s pozole (aka dope soup) on my mind, I ordered the crack bread fully expecting the same mind-altering experience. Instead, I was left feeling like I did when Howard Hesseman left “Head of the Class” and was replaced by Billy MacGregor…hopeless anticipation. Even with the elixir of pork drippings and butter as a spread, finishing it would have been like trying to endure a season of “Billy”. Instead of three’s company, in this case the trio of hardish buns reminded me of more three’s a crowd.

My Take

The emergence of Grand Electric last year brought “Happy Days” to hipsters and foodies searching for cheapish, snack foods in the midst of a good vibe. For the same reason, Electric Mud BBQ is emerging as a successful spinoff, highlighting soul food as opposed to nouveau Mexican. Unique cocktails, good draught, great food and old school blues will leave people feeling a vibe more like Mork and Mindy and less like Joanie loves Chachi.*

*It makes me wonder if, in fact, if Arnold’s Diner had a couple of spinoffs, would they be called Pork and Mindy and Joanie loves Sriracha?