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Montecito: A Memorable Montage Yet Mediocre Menu

October 11, 2014October 13, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

Montecito sounds like a good movie. Starring renowned chef Jonathan Waxman and produced by movie legend Ivan Reitman, it’s a tale of Californian cuisine trying to find its place in the bustling entertainment district of Toronto. Whereas other restaurants in the area have opened and closed with varied amounts of fanfare, one might consider Montecito a big budget production. It’s a massive, two floor establishment complete with a large bar and lounge are on top and abundant seating on the ground. Pictures of Montecito, California are projected on the screens throughout the restaurant and snapshots of Reitman’s accomplishments fill the walls on both floors.

The place was packed. The clientele ranged from hipsters to business folk. In fact, the upstairs lounge was filled with suits, ties and plenty of booze. We were quickly seated by a courteous hostess and our waiter showed up shortly after. He was a little odd from the start in that he talked to us like he was reading a script, making sure he told us that the summering projections were that of Montecito in Southern California. Otherwise, he was not very informative when it came to anything to do with the menu. The cocktail list was small and sleepy so I opted for a side launch weissbier, one of five draught beer available on the menu.

To start, I ordered chopped salad which consisted of beets, corn, red peppers, onions, blue cheese and boiled eggs for $12. As a whole, it was very average although the ingredients were nicely proportioned. The blue cheese was divine and made the remainder of the dish a little less boring.

I also ordered meatballs served with polenta and tomato sugo for $19. The triplets came out covered in shaved parmesan cheese. The rich creamy polenta balanced nicely with the acid in the tomato sauce. The meatball themselves were old school and nicely seasoned but in the end the price was as elevated as a movie ticket itself.

There are only 2 dishes on the menu which bear the initials of Chef Waxman; the chicken ($24) and the potatoes ($9). For that reason, I saw them as a must. The chicken was crispy on the outside and moist in the middle, well seasoned was served with an herb salad and salsa verde. It was good but I can’t say I closed my eyes and tasted Montecito while the salty breeze of the Pacific Ocean with every bite (despite the fact I continued to see images on the wall all night). The JW potatoes were crispy and well seasoned but once again didn’t transport me to the judging table of Top Chef Masters.

JW Chicken $24 with Herb Garden and Salsa Verde — JW Chicken $24 with Herb Salad and Salsa Verde

The other entree we ordered for the table was halibut served with grilled romaine, tomatillo salsa and chermoula ($32). I was a bit surprised to see roasted tomatoes scattered across the plate. Maybe I’m out of the loop (I’ve seen it in other places) but I really don’t understand the combination of fish and tomatoes. It doesn’t work for me. Neither does mushy halibut or charred romaine. There is not a thing I liked about this dish, including the $32 price tag.

Halibut, grilled romaine, tomatillo salsa, chermoula 32

For dessert, I bought into the Reitman propaganda and ordered the Stay Puft marshmallow basked alaska for $12. This sickly sweet, ghastly combination of sponge cake, ice cream and torched meringue swam atop a chocolate sauce which tasted like Nestle Quik. I didn’t (and couldn’t) finish it.

My Take

Initially, I was excited to experience food influenced by the highly touted Jonathan Waxman. With the name Montecito, I expected fresh California fare. Waxman’s contributions make him more like a supporting actor by offering his famed chicken and potatoes to another wise lame script devoted more to an Ivan Reitman montage than fresh and innovative cuisine. Pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as twins along with other memories of movies past (including a replica of the Stay Puft marshmallow man which gets passed around tables like a joint and seems to make drunk patrons ridiculously happy) seemed more important than focusing on great food in the present in an area of Toronto that desperately needs it. To me, it’s nothing more than a glorified Moxie’s or Earl’s.

Ivan Reitman has had a very successful career as a movie producer. Like anybody else with such a long history, as a producer and executive producer he has had some great movies and some which aren’t so good. I quite enjoyed the groundbreaking zaniness of Animal House, the crude humour of Old School and EuroTrip and the smart jocosity of Evolution. On the other hand, I could do without Kindergarten Cop, Space Jam or Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot. As far as his restaurant production goes, I’m forced to give Montecito a very emphatic two thumbs down.

A Blind Date with THR & Co…Harbord Room’s Little Sister

October 2, 2014October 3, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

Ever since I went to Harbord room, I’ve been interested in trying THR & Co, their sister restaurant. Eating out can be like a blind date. Sometimes, all you had to go on is a picture of the menu and an online testimony or two. I showed up early given I was on another dinner mission in an attempt to avoid outgoing Toronto traffic. As a result of this, I was offered a seat on the comfy side of the bar (there are four or 5 padded stools instead of the regular ones which graced the remaining perimeter. One of the first surprises was the limited bar menu. My tainted recollection of Harbord Room (which involved a few drinks with the Food Network’s Kevin Brauch) was an innovative and expansive cocktail menu so I was a little surprised to see a limited selection here. In fact, another gentleman came in and ordered an amaretto and after a 5 minute search concluded they didn’t have any. Of the four, yes four cocktails, I ordered The Pisco Sour (pisco, pear, egg white, ginger and sage syrup and fresh lemon). She was certainly playful but was anything but sour. In the end, I was impartial. She was neither naughty or nice.

For the appetizer, I went with the compressed carrot salad for $13. She was one of the prettier salads I’ve been served. The had carrots which were roasted, pickled and cut into attractive ribbons. The apple vinaigrette was subtle but appropriate. The sunflower granola was less appealing and a little abundant. All in all, she looked better than she tasted (hmm…that sounds wrong) but was a very acceptable starter.

For the main I ordered the Oxtail Bucatini for $21. Wow, she had really small…..pasta. I recently complained about the price of the pasta at SPQR in San Francisco but that was a value compared to this portion. Although the pasta itself was delicious and nicely cooked the oxtail was scarce and there was no unity in the sauce. Instead of a marriage of flavours, it was more like a breakup.

Bucatoni with Oxtail Ragu — Bucatini with Oxtail Ragu $21

For a side, I ordered marinated mushrooms which was served with pickled onions, fresh bay and salsa verde. I enjoyed this dish. Although a little greasy, the unlikely combination of ingredients really worked. I was surprised by the potpourri of mushrooms which filled the bowl. She would have been a perfect match with the rib eye steak on the menu.

None of the desserts appealed to me so I juts decided to end the date and get the hell home.

My Take

Harbord room is like a hot date. It has one the best burgers in Toronto and an extravagant bar menu. On the other hand, THR & Co is luke warm. I was a little disappointed by the small (although firm) pasta and rather dismal cocktail list. The carrot salad was stunning and almost as delicious. The pasta was saved somewhat by a nice side of marinated mushrooms. If Harbord Room and THR & Co are in fact sisters, the latter is the one that probably doesn’t get a date. She has a really nice salad though.

Sky Blue Sky: I’d Rather Hang out with Wilco Instead of Jared Any Day.

September 29, 2014October 3, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

I was looking for a lunch spot and remember stumbling across Sky Blue Sky in my travels. All I knew is that they supposedly had good sandwiches and made an appearance on You Gotta Eat Here. I’ve been to quite a few restaurants dedicated to members of pop culture. For example, I’ve been to Lisa Marie in Toronto (Lisa Marie Presley) and Marlowe’s Ribs and restaurant in Memphis (her sorta famous dad). I’ve dined at Montecito in Toronto (Ivan Reitman’s tribute to himself) and sipped on cocktails named after Seinfeld characters at Thoroughbred, but I’ve never been to a place which has paid tribute to the American rock band Wilco. I’m not talking a poster or album cover hanging on the wall kind of dedication; I mean every sandwich and even the name of the place itself seems to be a WIlco song or album name.

With two locations, I strolled into the one on College Street. After taking a flight of stairs to get inside, I entered a very modest abode which resembled a deli. Red and white checked tablecloths covered the spattering of tables and hints of pop cultures stuck on the walls.

The menu is simple. There are a couple of daily soups and a whole lot of sandwiches including a nice selection of vegetarian ones. I opted for the split pea with ham($3) and the “Dreamer in my Dreams”($6), described as “slices of roast beef topped with onions cooked in red wine vinegar, banana peppers, slices of tomato and some cheddar cheese. We put this dream on our spicy jack bread with some mustard and mayonnaise and serve it to you well toasted.” The soup was well seasoned and had an enjoyable spicy bite at the end. The sandwich arrived in paper sporting the same red and white design. By well toasted they meant a trip to the panini press. The bread was delicious and housed a good proportion of fillings. The cheese was melted nicely and the red wine vinegar, despite it subtly, shone through nicely.

Dream of my Dreams $6 — Dreamer in my Dreams $6

As I was waiting, I saw an older gentleman hobble up the stairs. He was greeted like Norm from cheers when he walked in. Soon a student dropped in and got the same treatment. The two guys working there were friendly, engaging and respectful. There was a sign reminding patrons that Styrofoam soup bowls are recyclable so please use the appropriate bin. You pay on the way out and not when you order. You are asked to grab whatever drink you want out of the cooler and leave it to you to let them know. That’s the mentality I like in a place. Many establishments have forgotten the fact that if you treat customers with respect, they will give it right back to you. As the for bill, my math might be off on the individual items because my soup, sandwich and Perrier came to a mere $10.54.

My Take

In a world trodden with Subway, Quizno’s, burger joints and overpriced business lunches a simple sandwich shop like Sky Blue Sky has appeal. It was a bit of a hippy mentality without the flower power, tie dye or Joe Cocker. Instead, the same “love not war” cordial nature was replaced by good food, a friendly environment and numerous tributes to Wilco. The staff are delightful and well…not Jared. To paint another picture Sky Blue Sky may not be for everybody (maybe it’s not where all the cool foodies go), but like Wilco, has found success through loyal followers (I guess a couple of Grammy wins doesn’t hurt either). Plus, I’d almost hang out there just to hear the neighbourhood priest come in andd confidently order a “Hell is Chrome” or maybe an old lady from the area (who would likely be a regular) come in and proclaim”I must be high!” Either way, I think they’d get a good sandwich.

The Irony of Happy Hour at Lee

September 15, 2014October 3, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

I’ve met a few celebrity chefs in my travels. I ran into Lynn Crawford at a food truck festival, met Mark McEwan at a Second Harvest event and snapped a picture of Guy Fieri through the glass at Lakeview diner. I’m not very bold in these endeavors. I usually only approach if they are available and usually if somebody else has already asked for a picture before me. This might explain my reluctance to Susur Lee. First of all, he scares the hell out of me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile and I still remember the way he ripped apart chef Eric Wood during an episode of Chopped Canada.

I was in Toronto at staying in the King and Portland area so I decided to stroll the neighbourhood in order to grab a bite. I was thinking Portland Variety, the new menu at Valdez or maybe a sausage at Wvrst. The last thing on my mind was Lee but as I walked down the sidewalk I looked up and sitting on the patio of his own restaurant was Susur himself. He was dressed in a burgundy blazer with the same stoic look I have always seen on TV. He seemed engrossed in a business meeting with members of his staff so the last thing I wanted to do was interrupt. Instead I texted a few food geeks I knew informing them of my discovery. I attempted to snap a picture but with my already horrendous camera skills it didn’t go well.

I was still undecided about where to dine until I saw a small sandwich board advertising happy hour at Lee which offered $10 cocktails and a small 1/2 price bar menu. Sounded good to me. I walked in and had a seat at the decent size bar. A friendly bartender was waiting and quickly handed me a food and drink menu. The drink menu offered 6 cocktails which had an array of spirits as a base. I started with a burnt orange manhattan (knob hill bourbon, vermouth, grand marnier, cointreau, orange cream citrate). It had a classic taste with a little twist. The bartender even flamed the orange peel for extra effect. Although Knob Creek is not my favorite bourbon, it was still a great cocktail, especially for $10.

The half price bar snack menu consisted of 5 items so I went all in and ordered them all. The first to arrive was the edamame hummus dip ($4) served with sesame crisps, taro root chips and pomegranate. The silky texture was heavenly and the normal earthiness of a chickpea hummus was replaced with a fresher flavour. The punchy pomegranate seeds and taro chips were great compliments.

At this point, a buddy of mine joined me. Shortly after, the spicy tuna tartare and black pepper tuna tataki ($6), spicy jerk chicken ($6) and cheese burger spring roll ($7) arrived. The tartare and tataki were served on a rice cake and topped with red pepper relish. The tuna was prepared perfectly but was blunted by the overwhelming rice cake. The flavours were there, just disproportionate. The cheeseburger spring egg roll was a brilliant concept, especially with the lettuce wrap and pickled vegetable. Once again, like the tuna, the main protein was lost among the numerous other things on the plate. The spice jerk chicken served with the tamarind glaze and chili sauce was phenomenal and easily the best dish of the night. Moist chicken and a very crisp and aggressive seasoned coating was perfect as a stand alone but the sauces enhanced the flavour even further. It was so good we ordered another one.

Tuna Tartare Tataki $6, Jerk Chicken $6, Cheeseburger Spring Rolls $7

The last dish on the bar menu was the fois gras and chicken liver pate. Served with ice syrup, ginger mango and ciabatta for $7. It also had some housemade blueberry compote. Although pate is rarely my preferred choice on a menu, this worked on all levels. The texture of the pate complimented with the contrasting sweet and gingery condiments were delightful to the palate. Ironically, I didn’t eat all the pate but the the rest of the plate didn’t stand a chance.

For a second cocktail, I ordered a Mayan Solstice, a tequila and gin based drink with chili infused lime juice, cucumber and green apple (with a little chartreuse). This was fresh and delightful but the heat from the chili was adequately present with every sip. It was a great cocktail.

Whether it was a few cocktails or an general enjoyment of the food and atmosphere, I saw a couple across bar order Susur’s Signature Singaporean-style Slaw. I felt that the guy from “The Source” commercial who sees his creepy neighbour dancing, looks at the speaker and says “I want that”. This $22 salad is one of the most recognized dishes at Lee. It’s an architectural feat, constructed with 19 ingredients. After a detailed description. the waitress skillfully destroyed it into something that could fit in one’s mouth. As much as it was eye candy, it was alliterative mouth candy as well; sweet, salty, sour, spice, savory and sublime.

Susur's Signature Singaporean-style slaw $22 — Susur’s Signature Singaporean-style slaw $22

My Take

I stumbled across happy hour at Lee by chance. It started with a chance sighting of Susur itself and lead to an enjoyable meal. Although it is not your typical cinq a sept joint, the staff are welcoming and treat you as well as somebody who might be dropping a few hundreds bucks for dinner. The cocktails were above average and a great value at $10. The bar food was a nice representation of Susur’s intense and diverse flavour profiles although I found the tuna and spring rolls a bit disproportionate. I’d order two jerk chicken right off the bat just to save yourself a wait. If you like pate, Susar’s is a must. The hummus was excellent as well.

The King and Portland area has become the epicentre for the snack food movement in Toronto and Lee has jumped on board (at least between 5 and 7 anyway). The result is a successful menu which offers a sample of Susur’s bold flavours. Both the cocktails and food are a great value but be warned, you may be tempted to indulge in things like the signature slaw or other dishes which cross your path. In the end, although Susur didn’t look overly happy during his own happy hour, I sure did.

Rich Table:The Last Supper, Dan Brown, Exodus 16 and Foodieism as a Religion

September 13, 2014October 3, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

The fact that Rich Table was my last supper in San Francisco (this was from my trip back in June..I’m a little slow these days) made me wonder what the famous last supper was like. I mean, the biblical account by each of the disciples was fairly uniform. Jesus took bread, gave it to his disciples and ate it as a symbol of his body. He then took wine, proclaimed it as his blood and passed it around. Sounds pretty simple but I wondered what would happen if Jesus was a foodie. I mean, what if he wasn’t happy with a 21 Herod’s Fury Merlot and send it back or got upset over the fact the bread wasn’t served with EVOO and a crisp balsamic vinegar.

These thoughts made me realize that being a foodie is like a religion if not a cult. Think about it….can you not picture the foodie couple getting the kids ready in their little plaid shirts from the Gap so they can go to the 11 am seating at Sunday Brunch. Instead of the Eucharist, they break and share aged cheddar scone and wash it down with french pressed coffee or a mimosa, Caesar or some other potent potable deemed acceptable on a Sunday morning. Any alms are already included in the inflated brunch prices

Ironically, I stumbled across a website which used a scientific ranking system (science and religion don’t mix) for San Francisco restaurants based on a statistical formula which took into consideration everything from San Francisco Chronicle reviews to eateries awarded Michelin stars. Rich table was ranked number 1, beating out bay area juggernauts such as Coi, Saison and Quince. It’s another one of these places with a one month reservation policy but they were very polite in answering all my email questions and promptly booked me a big table when the time came. Due to the size of my group, I was told via email we would have a $65/person menu served family style.

Fast forward a month. We had a short wait as the table before us was finishing up the earlier reservation. It was buzzing for a Monday night and the small place was full of fragrant and savory smells. After being seated, I realized I had a great view of the open kitchen. A friendly waiter soon arrived and handed us a few copies of the gospel according to Rich and I was reminded that it was a preset family style menu. The menu contained 14 items divided by starters, pastas, mains and dessert. I asked the waiter how many of each we could order and he politely informed me we were getting them all.

The flip side of the menu featured the beverage offerings which included almost a dozen beers, red and white wines and half a dozen cocktails. I started with an El Jeffe which is a mezcal based drink with grapefruit, tarragon, aperol and bitters. It was a refreshing summer drink with a nice amount of bitterness. Throughout the remainder of the meal, the table developed an affinity for the Bobby Burns, a potent elixir of a holy trinity of scotch, vermouth and benedictine and finished with bitters. It started rough but finished smooth and a few of them went down as the night went on.

Genesis (starters):

Sardine chips, horseradish, creme fraiche– A thin slice of potato slitted,”stuffed” with a sardine and deep fried. Served with a horseradish chip dip. Spectacular!

Douglas fir levain, house cultured butter– Heavy, moist and extremely flavourful bread. I had to limit consumption because wouldn’t have had room for anything else.

Burrata Cheese, Strawberry Gazpacho, Chicken Skin and Almond- This was one of the table favorites. It was burrata elevated to a new level. The sweet/sour gazpacho would have succeeded as a stand alone in a big bowl, especially since it was sprinkled with some of the magic chicken skin.

Little Gems, Bottarga, Dill, Crispy Onion- An ingenious spin on a caesar salad that held it’s own against the other innovative starters on the table. The balance of bitter/salt and cream/crunch was phenomenal.

Crispy Potatoes, Grilled Raddicchio, Garlic Chive and Comte– These went quick. Once again, near perfect from a taste and texture perspective.

Dried Porcini Doughnuts, Raclette Cheese- I’m convinced that the manna which spilled from heavens in the Old Testament may have been these donuts. They were amazing as a stand alone but became a religious experience when the cheese dip was added. A table of grown adults looked like a group of kids attacking a family pack of timbits or Homer Simpson hitting a Krispy Kreme when the red light is on.

The Pasta of Pastas

Pappardelle, Crayfish Oil, Goddess Melon, Pickled Jalapeno, Shiso– The pasta itself was done perfectly. The array of flavours was a bit much for some but I thought it worked well. The melon provided a surprising burst of sweetness which I admit was a bit odd but in the end the dish worked.

Garganelli, Housemade Sausage, Tomato Gravy, Basil- Once again, the pasta was spot on. The flavours were very traditional which was almost surprising considering the uniqueness of all the other dishes at the table. That said, it left you with that rustic, home-cooked feeling.

Tagliatelle, Braised Duck, Aged Sake and Almond- This was my favorite of the bunch. The use of sake reminded me of a penne alla vodka and the almonds nicely complemented the rich flavor of the duck.

The Gospels (Mains)

Summer Squash Gratin, Kale, Local Gouda, Mixed Herbs- Beautifully presented, this dish was a cross between scalloped potatoes and a mac and cheese with greens. The abundant use of the herbs and crispy kale added a great punch to this common yet uncommon offering.

Pork Loin, Toasted Wheatberries, Cherries and Wildflower Honey- I’m a big fan of using cherries with most meats and pork is no exception. The balance of the flavours was great and I really enjoyed the wheatberries. I wish the pork was cooked a little longer. I’m not adverse to a cut of pork cooked medium but I felt the slight undercooking of the loin affected the texture.

Alaskan Halibut, Corn Grits, Chanaterelles, Bouillabaisse, Pistachio- This was my least favorite dish of the evening. The halibut was a bit limp which didn’t lend well to the fact that the surrounding ingredients has the same texture. It was like a big plate of mush.

Revelation (Dessert)

Coconut Panna Cotta, Toasted Meringue, Lime Crumble- Nice texture and nice flavours. This was a fresh way to end a large and rich meal. I could have taken or left the meringue.

Salted Chocolate Sable, Milk Ice, Mint-Chocolate Mousse- This one had mixed reviews at the table. It was very minty and very chocolaty so those who aren’t extremists thought it was a bit much.

My Take

Although Rich Table hasn’t been blessed with a Michelin star by the food gods, it’s cumulative acclaim ranked it number one in San Francisco on sfist.com and statistics don’t lie. It’s interior is somewhat humble but not overly crowded. The large table beside the open kitchen makes for a great dining experience, especially if you are in a big group. The service was professional and smart. The cocktails were heavenly and wine list is reasonable including a reasonable corking policy which allows for the waiving on one corking fee if you buy a bottle there. As for the food, there was a huge selection for a very reasonable $65 per person served family style. The offerings were brilliant although the entrees were somewhat anti-climatic compared to the starters and pastas. The porcini doughnuts (as well as the fowl at State Bird Provisions) are biblical, suggesting that if Foodieism is in fact a religion, San Francisco is definitely the Mecca of the foodie movement given these modern day interpretations of manna and quail first mentioned by Moses in Exodus 16. When thinking of my last supper at Rich Table, I couldn’t help but think of “The Da Vinci Code” by Dan Brown and hoped that my dining experience wouldn’t be like the book; overhyped and lacking substance. Instead, it was much more “enlightening”, perhaps suggesting that if the Illuminati did exist, they would eat like this.

Fabbrica; Fizzy Wine and Free Parking

September 1, 2014September 1, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

There are many reasons to choose a restaurant. In most cases, I have an extravagant formula that combines a number of factors including who I’m with, what’s trending, what my friends or websites suggest, how much I want to eat and whether or not booze will be involved. Others are less calculating. I’ve had guests who have requested vegetarian, clean and/or gluten free food. I have one who avoids garlic and onions and pork can be a sore spot. One of my most recent requests was simple:a place uptown with easy parking. Oddly, this proved to be a daunting task. I could hope for the best and try a place along Bayview or Yonge but parking availability is so random. Knowing my guest liked Italian food, Fabricca immediately came to mind. Located in the shops on Don Mills plaza, this member of Mark McEwan empire offers complimentary valet parking in addition to a parkade only a short distance away.

The spacious restaurant is complete with an outdoor patio, a full bar and a dining area with a view of an open kitchen which includes a wood fired pizza oven. Despite the pseudo-casual atmosphere, Fabbrica has all the components of a fine dining experience. The waitstaff are classically trained and a nicely dressed expediter quarterbacks the kitchen team, ensuring that a salad is neither under- or overdressed or that a parsley leaf is not out of place. I felt a bit like I was on an episode of Top Chef Canada for a second.

Picking a wine is always a bone of contention for me, especially when a table’s worth of palates are on the line. I wouldn’t classify myself as a connoisseur but I can tell the difference between a Merlot and a Cabernet Sauvignon so I could get by in a pinch. However, I’m not the guy to go to as a spokesperson when it comes to the dreaded taste test. Sure, I can speak in front of a room of 200 people but having to take the inaugural sip of pinot gris in front of a half dozen people is a daunting task. That said, I have never seen a bottle sent back. In fact, I was thinking it was more of a formality. Not tonight though. We order a bottle of Conundrum from California. My guest took the honours and had a sip. A perplexed look was followed by a second sip and an exclamation that the wine was fizzy. The waiter carried it away and returned shortly with a fresh bottle and an agreement that his call on the wine was correct. In the end, the conundrum was a great choice.

On this night I was in the mood for a salad and pasta. I started with the misticanza salad consisting of seasonal lettuce, fennel, celery, herbs and house dressing ($11). It was delicious in it’s simplicity. The dressing was refreshing and a perfect compliment to the fresh ingredients in the salad.

For the main I ordered the fettuccine with sweet peas, artichoke, pancetta, and crotonese ($20). The pasta was nicely cooked but the dish was too oily and the artichoke pieces were rather large and took away from the taste of the rest of the dish.

For dessert I couldn’t resist the rice pudding with arborio rice, strawberry rhubarb compote and aged balsamic ($11). Oddly enough, I’m not a rice fan but put it in a pudding and I’m a happy camper. In fact, it would likely be one of the five foods I would choose as a desert island choice. The rice maintained its firmness among the creamy base. The compote was hidden in the bottom but once accessible added a nice tartness to the sweet pudding. I thought the addition of the balsamic was brilliant and something I will do when I make rice pudding at home.

My Take

Fabbrica is set up to appeal to the masses. It has a bit of the old school Italian eatery mixed with a modern day spin, so it wasn’t surprising to see an array of patrons filling the tables. There was a delightful older couple who may have been celebrating an anniversary, a large table of businessmen laughing incessantly at their own jokes, a table of younger mothers (one of which began breastfeeding her child which raised a few eyebrows among the traditionalists) and even a suave young guy hoping to get to third base by treating his date to dinner including the sundae designed for two. Then again, maybe the other patrons looked at our table as the pretentious one which actually had the nerve to send back a bottle of wine because it was fizzy. In the end, the Fabbrica experience was pretty decent although I was a little disappointed given Mark “Mercurial” McEwan’s high standards on Top Chef Canada. The salad and dessert were fresh and vibrant although the oily pasta was average at best. In the end, I think there are better options in the city for fine Italian fare but if the thought of parallel parking on a busy downtown street or dishing out $20 to jam into a makeshift lot makes you cringe then this may be your place. Plus, you can mingle with “the haves” and get that Coach bag, Solomon jacket or go to across the way to McEwan for that expensive olive oil you always wanted.

SPQR (Senātus Populusque Rōmānus): King Herod Prices And Pasta as Bloody as the Assassination of Caesar

August 30, 2014August 31, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

SPQR had me fooled. Given it was awarded a Michelin star for fine Italian food, I expected a stuffy, polite, quaint restaurant filled with overdressed waitstaff who pour wine with one hand behind their back. My first suspicion that I was wrong is when I walked past it a few nights before on my way from State Bird Provisions to Altier Crenn. From the outside, the vibe seemed more hipster than a classic Italian joint with the presence of surprisingly pounding, quaky rhythms as opposed to uncle Vito playing the violin table side.

I emailed quite a bit in advance to see if I could secure a table of 6 for a group I was with at a conference. They told me such as table was not available but when I got on open table I was able to secure two tables of 4 at the same time. It seemed odd to me…sorta pretentious;quite risible in fact. On the day of, I was a real nuisance and called to see if we could combine of two tables of 4 into one table of 5 due to a few last minute cancellations. They hesitantly accommodated us but once I walked in, I understood the issue. The restaurant is not designed for large groups. Small tables are crammed into every square foot of the smallish dining area. When seated, one of us ended up stuck in a swelling, protruding, quillon-resembling seat which blocked the path of everybody walking by.

The menu changes frequently but usually focuses on a decent array of appetizers, a number of pasta dishes and a few mains. There is no doubt the pasta is the cornerstone of the menu given the fact there are usually a dozen or so smart, piquant, quirky rations available at any given time. I started with the octopus garnished with kale sprouts, panissa (a lemon chick pea cake) and a vibrant puree laced with pistachio. Chick peas and octopus work so well together and the panissa was a creative and enjoyable way to marry the flavours . The octopus was tender and the subtle use of lemon accented everything well.

Octopus $20 — Octopus, kale sprout, panissa, chickpea, pistachio and preserved lemon $20

Although I didn’t opt for the pasta, members of my dining party did and I had the opportunity to try a few bites of each. The bucatini “straw and hay”, california blue cheese, linden walnut, kale and sage brown butter ($26) was a delightful interpretation of this popular combination. Whole walnuts and sage leaves along with large pieces of kale made it a visually appealing dish which was able to balance the intensity of the rich cheese sauce.

Bucatini “straw and hay”, california blue cheese, linden walnut, kale and sage brown butter ($26)

Another tablemate chose the famed and in the eyes of some, risky blutnudlen which sounds more horrific than the assassination of Julius Caesar. This popular dish mixes blood pasta with blood sausage ragu and pig’s foot breadcrumbs ($25). I must admit it was a novelty to try but beyond a few bites a sanguine pasta queming ravenous hipsters is not my cup of tea. It was rich and flavourful and reminded me why, as a pseudo-Catholic, my consumption of blood tends to stop at transubstantiation. I couldn’t imagine finishing the whole plate.

Instead of pasta, I opted for the Guinea hen “rosticceria style”, wild rice porridge, roasted strawberry, turnip and pink pepper ($36). The presentation was a pleasant mess. The delcious hen was almost hidden among the colours of the Italian flag. The texture was somewhat reminiscent of a good shawarma. The meat was crispy but held in its moisture. The wild rice porridge was vibrant and the strawberries sweetened the pot. The sulphur of the turnip rounded the plate out.

Guinea Hen $36 — Guinea Hen “rosticceria style”, wild rice porridge, roasted strawberry, turnip and pink pepper ($36)

We decided on a family style approach to dessert and ordered a trio which included 1. fried blueberry pie, butterscotch, lemon curd and burnt sugar gelato, 2. hibiscus bombolini, cherry vanilla, cherry bark vanilla and fior di latte gelato and 3. peanut and milk chocolate pudding , malt and chocolate gelato. The consensus at the table was that the bombolini was the best followed by the pudding and the fried blueberry pie (all $14). The blueberry pie was the one I was most excited about but there were too many flavours and the butterscotch didn’t really fit. The pudding was boring looking and tasted almost the same. It was very predictable which was kind of odd given the dishes which led up to dessert.

Blueberry pie $14 — Fried blueberry pie, butterscotch, lemon curd and burnt sugar gelato $14

Hibiscus Bombolini $14 — Hibiscus bombolini, cherry vanilla, cherry bark vanilla and fior di latte gelato $14

Peanut Dessert $14 — Peanut and milk chocolate pudding , malt and chocolate gelato $14

My Take

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to critique SPQR, not to praise it.

The dishes that men eat lives after them;

The good is oft inferred with their Michelin star;

So let it be with SPQR. The noble bloggers

Hath told you the menu was ambitious:

If it were so, it was a hipster’s demand,

And graciously hath SPQR answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Accarrino and the rest–

For SPQR is an honourable place;

So are they all, all honourable chefs–

Come I to speak in Fareeatales.

SPQR is a perfect fit for Fillmore Street in San Francisco. It ignores the traditional concepts of fine Italian dining by presenting beautiful dishes but throws away the spacious room filled with white linen in favour of a labyrinth of small table scattered throughout a broom closet. The service was characteristic of the latter with the staff dressed in black as opposed to a shirt and tie. The food was delicious and deserves the accolades it has received over the years. That said, I have to agree with many that say the food is somewhat pricey; quasi-ridiculous in fact. Perhaps Herod had a role in charging $25 for pasta and $14 for dessert. Despite this, the place is always jam packed so it doesn’t seem to deter the masses. In the end, when I polled my guests to see if they majority enjoyed the experience they agreed that it was stupendously polished;quorum reached.

A #Zomato Lesson at Portland Variety

August 23, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

I don’t get twitter. I mean I understand the general premise (most of my tweets are simply links to my blog posts or a picture of a half empty beer that I might think would be cool to post in a drunken stupor) but I can’t get my mind around hashtags. First of all, it’s a pound sign. I’ve never been asked to enter a hashtag after entering my PIN or a password during a phone call. Second, I don’t know which hashtags are correct or incorrect. Perhaps the strategy is to simply guess in hopes that somebody else has the same thought process as you. Maybe there’s a secret directory I could access at #hashtags or that it’s a matter of practice makes perfect. Let’s give it a try.

I recently agreed to meet a staff member of #Zomato, a new foodie site set to launch in Canada in the coming weeks. Legend has it Zomato started in India by an entrepreneur who was tired of not having access to the most #currentmenus at local restaurants. Since then, it has evolved to a information/social network designed specifically for #foodies . The staff work vigilantly with local eateries to ensure that the information is up to date and accurate. Sites like #urbanspoon and #yelp rely on the customer who often can’t tell time, have a odd definition of the phrase average noise and assumes a place has take out if they see styrofoam containers stacked in the #openkitchen. You can also form networks and bloggers can link their #nonsensicalrants directly to the site.

I figured#portlandvariety would be an ideal place to meet for a coffee. Located at the esteemed corner of #KingandPortland, Portland Variety is following the lead of places like #barbuca by opening all day. During the day, it is a haven for #coffee and #pastries and transforms into #smallplates as the day goes on. The front of the place has high marble-topped tables and glass cases displaying cookies, pastries and other #sweettreats. The back of the house has some yellow bench seating #againstthewall (wait….I have a feeling this hashtag would solicit comments that have nothing to do with comfortable seating) and tables scattered throughout the open space. There is also a large bar which promises #libations once the party starts around 5 pm.

After a brief introduction to #zomatogirl, I ordered a decaf #amerciano and a shrimp salad sandwich. The coffee was made quickly but they had to verify that the sandwich was still possible before ringing me in. After getting the #thumbsup, we had a seat in the back. I wasn’t sure if they would bring the sandwich out or if I had to head back to the front to pick it up. After I waited #whatseemedlikeaneternity, I walked up to inquiry. I was able to witness the final assembly and watched it sit on the counter for a bit before I finally #waveddown a staff member to get it.

The americano #hitthespot and the sandwich was decent as well. In particular, the croissant was #lacedwithbutter, resulting in a flaky and moist #breadstuff (I’m convinced I can make up words with hashtags). The delicate texture of the well prepared shrimp were not dulled by the sweet dressing.

Shortly after the meeting, she posted a picture of her sandwich to twitter, copied me and included the hashtags #inmytummy and #sandwich me!. I have no idea where she got these hash tags from but I almost wanted to ask if she just made them up. I mean…why not #betweenthebread or #lunchplate? I’m still confused.

My Take

Although I can’t comment on the #dinnerrush, Portland Variety is a comfortable place to grab a pastry and a coffee, both of which are much better in quality than what you might get at #overratedcoffee jaggernaut. I can’t confirm the wifi situation, but yelp tells me they dont…so #whatashame. I would easily sit here for an hour and get some computer work done as opposed to the cramped quarters of #seattlesfavourite.

I plan to come back for #whatsfordinner sometime soon. In the meantime, Portland Variety will be #topofmind for a #daytimepitstop, especially if I can confirm they have or decide to get a wifi connection for customers. Ironically, this is one of those places that doesn’t post their menu on their website which is #annoying. Maybe Zomato will help.

Yank Sing: A Tale of Sheldon, Cam and the Bites of the Long, Rectangular Table

August 23, 2014August 23, 2014 spennyrd1 Comment

Dim Sum is always an adventure. In many ways it’s a sitcom at a table, especially when you have a big crowd. It is the perfect time for an alpha personality to take full control of a situation while one or two wheat belly people stare curmudgeonly at all the food they can’t eat. The combination of white starches and deep-fried morsels with the odd taboo food thrown in makes for a true social experiment.

Yank Sing is one of San Francisco’s most recognizable Dim Sum palaces. With two locations (I went to the Stevenson one), it is often quoted as not being the best Dim Sum in town but certainly is among the most popular.

The Cast:

I booked a table of 10 with the following demographics:

2 Asians- only one of which knew what they were doing. The other is essentially whiter than I am.

1 Shameless Glutton (that would be me)

3 Nurses whose conversation about past clinic experiences was far more awkward than anything which came along on the trolley

2 Pseudo Gluttons who fold to peer pressure like a bad suit but look much better than one doing it.

2 “I don’t eat simple starches but don’t want anybody to know and plus I’m only here for business anyway” people

1 “I’ll be there after my other lunch” followed by “Sorry I didn’t make it man..my other lunch went late” colleague (thus the reason I booked a table for 10 and not 11. Plus, I think zeros are luckier than ones in the Chinese culture).

The Plot

It’s quite simple. The cart comes by and a conversation in Chinese ensues. The three nurses are too busy having a discussion about emergency room wounds or the biggest boil they have ever seen to notice. I sound like Dave Hester yelling “Yeeeeeeep!” every time I’m offered anything from a dumpling to a bun stuffed with some type of protein. The two wheat bellies stare at the vegetables hoping they make the cut while the pseudo gluttons secretly wish the weirdest thing on the tray doesn’t. In the end, there was an array of fare which came to the table. Their famous Shanghai soup dumplings which burst with subtle salt goodness. The potstickers were a tender and classic interpretation of this classic. The deep fried Phoenix tailed shrimp reminded me of why pseudo-Chinese food is permanently ingrained in the grease-loving palates of North Americans. The beans were quickly consumed by token herbivores. There were other tasty morsels passed around the table; some of which seemed to get a bit camera shy during the communal feast.

Another signature was the Peking duck served with a stuffable bun and some hoisin sauce. Once assembled, it was a pleasant few bites and scoring a couple of them was not a huge feat given the dynamics at the table.

My Take

Group dinners are usually sitcoms and this one was no exception. I’ll admit that there may be a few exaggerations about the dynamics but it makes for a good story. As for Yank Sing itself, I was a little surprised about how safe the offerings were. I’ve been for Dim Sum in Montreal and Toronto and the choices there are a lot more diverse and even a little risky. This place isn’t cheap either. The bill for the table was $370 which was a little steep for what we got. In the end, Yank Sing is like a tourist attraction; overpriced, a little overrated but fun nonetheless, especially when you go with a cast of characters that’s a cross between the Big Bang Theory and Modern Family.

Starring in “Baptism at Brunch”…A Made in America Movie Now Showing at Foreign Cinema

August 3, 2014August 3, 2014 spennyrdLeave a comment

Some will argue that being a foodie/hipster is a religion or better yet a cult. Either way, like other theologies, there is a strict doctrine one must follow to gain acceptance by the congregation:

1. Do your best to looks like the guy on the side of the Abercrombie bag. If you cannot achieve the Adonis six-pack, then the clueless look into the distance will suffice.

2. Scoff at the hicks and jersey wearing sports enthusiasts who drink Bud Light to get free Nascar swag or an NHL beer cozy while they drink Pabst Blue Ribbon; a beer just as shitty where they get absolutely nothing.

3. Eat brunch.

Brunch is a rite of passage for the hipster/foodie type. It’s like a baptism into the church of all things pretentious. It also allows one to eat foods you can only get as part of the weekend menu or pay $4-5 bucks for something just deemed breakfast every other day of the week. In addition, it is typically not served before 11 am which applies to John Q. Foodie because they are soooo hungover from all the bourbon they drank the night before. There’s also the fact that having another cocktail designed for the morning hours or a french press coffee is such a much cooler remedy than a couple of advil and a bowl of Cap’n Crunch at home.

I was in San Francisco so attending brunch here would be like attending mass in the Sistine Chapel. So I looked long and hard to find a suitable brunch that met all the criteria but considering the fact it had to be on a Saturday (the orthodox foodie will only attend brunch on Sundays). Luckily, foreign cinema fit the bill. It is highly rated on numerous websites, situated in a “developing” area of San Francisco and boasts menu items like organic pop tarts, oysters and whipped cod brandade.

It was quite a cab ride from the convention centre. We were driven by a rather frivolous cabbie into the heart of the Mission district and were dropped off at the address listed on Google maps. An extra blink and I would have missed it. The front of the restaurant looked as debilitated as the rest of the buildings along the street. The entrance was a long tunnel which ended at a large, open courtyard that was already buzzing with hungry brunch goers. Despite the open concept it was quite loud which made it quite difficult to carry on a conversation. The clergy (servers) seemed preoccupied and slow throughout the meal which I concluded was appropriate given the ceremony.

Of course, I started with the organic pop tart ($6.75 ) and a stiff drink (Persian Bloody Mary $11). Both met at least one criteria for an ideal brunch experience. The overpriced pop tart was flimsy and unimpressive and only surrounded a tiny amount of peach filling. The Bloody Mary was seasoned with aggressive middle eastern flavours but as a Canadian, I’ve never had a Bloody Mary that comes anywhere close to a Caesar.

For my main I opted for the Chile Verde (fried eggs, slow-cooked heritage pork, poblanos, tomatillos, mojo, queso fresco and tortilla ribbons) for $18. Although not the prettiest dish (especially once you began to dismantle it), the flavours blended beautifully. . Each bite, lead by the pork and egg, was a blend of fresh flavours accented with a perfect amount of acid and heat from the vegetables and sauces.

My Take

As mentioned, my visit to foreign cinema was like a baptism into San Francisco foodieism (probably pronounced foo-day-ism). It was a loud but enjoyable ceremony. I managed to visit an” up and coming” area of town, order organic food, drink a breakfast boozy cocktail and pay too much for eggs. I even got somewhat pretentious service to match. However, I am still unclear on the whole movie concept. First, it’s called foreign cinema and plays predominantly American movies. Second, I saw no evidence of the movie at all. I think they play them in the outdoor courtyard which wasn’t offered to me. Maybe that section is reserved for the established foodies and not the ones who think paying seven bucks for a pop tart is an automatic ticket to hipster heaven.