When I first heard the name Falconetti’s, I had in my head it was spelt “Falcon Eddy’s”. Maybe I was thinking of the 1988 winter Olympics in Calgary, where the appearance of Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards (you live in Philadelphia or Atlanta, eagles and falcons aren’t that different, right?) He was the iconic British ski Jumper who left memories as endearing as the Jamaican bobsled team. I was hoping this place wasn’t quite the same as them..a lot of hype without a lot of talent.
Upon arrival at this DDD located on Commercial Drive in Vancouver, I was lucky to get a seat on the rooftop patio. The mountainous view was spectacular and other reminder of Olympic games of the past (I’d say I could almost see Eddie flying through the air but he wasn’t that good.)
So, in homage to the Olympic games, I embarked on an esculent heptathlon in an effort to taste the best of what the joint had to offer.
The 60 m event was an $8 Cucumber Love -Beefeater Gin, Muddled Cucumber, Lime Juice, Brown Sugar & Soda). I finished it in record time and found it quite refreshing, especially amidst the warm Vancouver afternoon. Alternatively, there was a number of local pints on tap, ranging from Storm to Russell to Granville. Not a bad start to the meal.
The long jump was the artichoke dip. It’s a standard bar food that can be really good or really bad. This one was somewhere in between and a little steep (yes, more mountain analogies) at $13. After a great start, I fell a bit down the rankings with this effort.
The shotput was the poutine (both involve a heavy ball…one is steel and the other sits in the pit of your stomach for hours after eating). I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine about 5 foods I’d want to be stuck with on a desert island if food preparation and safety weren’t an issue. I thought long and hard and came up with spicy tuna sushi, rice pudding and cheese right away and was a bit stuck on the last ones. I’d like to add Kennebec fries to the list. I’ve professed my love for the Kennebec potato in previous blogs and am quite pleased to see their recent migration to the centre of the universe( aka Toronto). It’s also good to see that the poutine has traveled west. Falconetti’s hits the mark with this modest $8 offering which let the fries shine.
I needed the afterburners for the 60 metre hurdles..the afterburner burger that is, I’m a consistent sucker for a burger topped with jalapeno anything. The burger was a little less than what I expected. The bun was great. The biggest hurdle was an abundance of beef which was a bit more done than I like and not enough burn. The side salad was absolutely delicious, consisting of mixed greens (including kale) oranges, pecans, roasted corn and soy beans with a citrus vinaigrette.
The pole vault has to be the sausage (insert phallic joke here). My indecisive nature lead me to order the sampler which is an opportunity to try 3 different signatures sausages (hot italian, chicken thai and polish) with a few dipping sauces. Seen as the signature dish of Falconetti’s , I was hoping this would be the standout event. The hot Italian was classic and delicious although it didn’t have eye watering heat. The other two were less orthodox (Thai chicken and Polish beef) and less tasty. Although it was moist (which is tough for a chicken sausage), I was seeking more intense thai flavour. The Polish were a bit dry and didn’t have memorable seasoning or taste.
The finishing event, the 1000 metre run, was the key lime pie. Although I did not snap a picture, it was excellent. The tart filling was the star and was balanced nicely by the crust and topping.
Any joint endorsed by Guy Fieri should be in medal contention. In this heptathlon, Falconetti’s fared well in many events and faltered a bit in others, To start, the drink menu, highlighted by solid cocktails and decent local beer, got me out of the gates quickly. The spinach dip was overpriced with only an average jump. The poutine with Kennebec fries was delicate and well- balanced and didn’t leave me feeling like I just ate a shotput . The afterburner burger fizzled a bit but the side salad got me over the hurdles. Regarding the sausages, touted as the pinnacle event, the bar was raised to world record levels although it was a decent effort. The final event, the key lime pie, put the whole meal into medal contention. Although not a gold medal performance, at the end I’d put this heptathlon of bar food on the podium of decent DDDs. Eddie would be proud.
Verdict– 4 Guyz